Of Tea, Torture and Technical Madness
by Blooming in Victory
Summary: Sayuri wasn't originally from the world she was now born into. With memories of a possible future and a desire to be more than the person she once was Sayuri plans to change the world, one idiot at a time.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

I couldn't breathe.

I felt feather light and as heavy as stone at the same time. And there was so much noise, so much screaming. Cries similar to mine. Voices begging for help. But they seemed so far away, like they were calling from behind glass. I think one of them was saying my name. I wonder who it was, who was crying for me.

I was so cold, except for my side, my side was burning, and the hand I had there was warm. Something was flowing between my fingers, it felt nice, I knew that it shouldn't but I couldn't remember why.

It was supposed to be bright around me, I remember it being a blue sky before the noises started, but it was so dark now. It was getting darker.

And colder.

The noises seemed further away now.

I hope that meant the screaming stopped.

I think I heard my name.

Why was someone crying my name?

* * *

Death, contrary to popular belief, was not a painful experience, _dying_ was painful but death was not. No, death itself was, in fact, quite relaxing. It was warm and soft, quiet without being silent. If I had to describe death to someone I would say that it was like being in the embrace of a loved one after emotional turmoil, there was a sense of security and comfort in it.

I remember dying. I remember the pain of it. It had been a strange day to begin with, I had been out with a friend, just enjoying the sunshine, when we saw them, the protestors, angry about some company being ousted for discriminating against gay people or others who identified as LGBT+. Vivian and I decided to hang around, herself a proud bisexual woman and myself being more sexually queer than anything else. We listened a speaker after speaker came forward to talk about their experience, and what should be done about it. I could see others around the group though, people who didn't really fit in, shouting horrible things, horrible cruel things at us all.

And then, then there was the pain. I remember hearing screaming, but I couldn't say if it was actually me screaming, and I can recall the surge of warmth coming from my stomach, could feel my blood leave my body. My death was rather slow in some regards. It was drawn out by people trying to save me, trying to keep me alive. As I neared the end I felt colder, the sun no longer warmed my skin, no longer blinded me as my eyes dimmed. There were no great passing words as my lungs heaved at my last breaths. I didn't close my eyes to signify my passing, but I couldn't say what the last thing I saw was.

There were no 'could have, should have, would have's as my mind raced with thoughts of pain. No time to think of what I regretted in life, no time to worry about the people I was leaving behind. But in death, there was of time, there was nothing but time to think of things that would follow me beyond the grave.

If I had a chance I'd say that my biggest regret was that I never lived properly. There would be no great tales of grand deeds at my funeral, no epic stories that I would be remembered for. I had my friends, my family, my job, but I wasn't special, not in a way that makes people remember you years to come. I had a list a mile long of things I wish I had done before my passing and traumatizing my friend with my death wasn't one of them. I wanted to make a positive change in the world, even if that world was one person.

If I had a personal regret though, I'd say that it was that I never fell in love, with a person, a place, a moment in time, anything. I lived with the expectation that I'd live long enough that it would happen one day. My friends had all told me of their great loves, my parents could write me epic poems about theirs, but I had none, and I wanted it so badly. And in the warm place that I was in while I waited for whatever came next, I thought about all that I could have loved and all that I missed. I could only hope that what came next would give me a chance to love something. 

* * *

The day I was born was a strange one for me to say the least about the experience. Looking back, I should have realized I wasn't dead anymore. I should have figured that the warmth I was experiencing after my death was actually from being in a womb, but to my favour, I didn't remember the first experience, so I couldn't be blamed for not knowing the second-time around. Thankfully infant amnesia was still a thing, even for reborn new-born. It made sense to me when I had to ability to understand it. Being reborn doesn't change basic biology and physical development, a baby brain just wasn't ready to remember birth.

Thankfully. Because no one should remember being born.

Being born is a traumatic experience that is best forgotten by everyone involved, and not remembering my previous life meant adapting to this new one was easier to start with. Japanese is a bitch to learn if English is still your first language.

Not remembering my parents from Before made it easier to bond with my new ones. I'm glad I got to know my new parents before my memories returned, Tou-san wasn't Dad. Okaa-san wasn't Mum. They weren't the same but I seemed to have a similar relationship with Tou-san as I did my Dad, in every life I was destined to be a daddy's girl it seemed. He made me laugh, and he made me feel safe once Okaa-san started going away more and more. He sang me songs, badly, and read me stories to help me sleep.

I was closer to him than Okaa-san. My Tou-san was a nice guy, very family orientated, and doted on me from the moment I was born. It was him that held me the most for the early part of my life. I was _his_ little girl. Okaa-san was around, but not much, it seemed as if she had me and then went back to whatever it was she was doing before being pregnant.

Tou-san took me out of the house whenever he could, I got to meet a lot of people on our little adventures. The most notable was a man with grey hair and a young face. He seemed to get along with Tou-san very well, they always had a chat when they saw each other. The man would play with me if he wasn't talking to Tou-san, he'd wiggle his finger in front of my face and coo when I grabbed it. He seemed a nice man, and I could only hope to get to know him later on in my life, but that didn't concern me much whilst I was still a baby.

I also found out I had an uncle. Ichiro-Oji was an experience and a half. A bit manic, but a family man overall. I found, from overhearing conversations that adults don't think a baby could understand, that Ichirou-Oji was meant to be the head of the household but wasn't allowed to be one because of his job choice. Something to do with why he was never really around for long, and the strange thing he wore on his head. I don't know how much I believed that though as I had seen Okaa-san wear the same thing and clearly her job choice hadn't prevented Tou-san from being the head of the family.

Ichiro-Oji was generally my secondary care-taker if Tou-san was busy. I wasn't entirely sure how that worked seeing as Ichi-Oji was nearly as busy as Okaa-san it seemed, but he always made an effort to be around to look after me if needed. I liked spending time with Ichi-Oji, he tended to be both more relaxed and more nervous handling me than Tou-san, not being afraid to throw me in the air and catching me, but almost driven to a panic attack if I so much as sneezed. I remembered the one-time Ichi-Oji forgot to burp me after giving me my milk, when I threw up on him Ichi-Oji ran to my Tou-san in a blind panic, interrupting what I could only assume to have been an important meeting of some kind.

Ichi-Oji also had this fun habit of stopping mid-sentence if it seemed like he was going to swear. He could me mid rant about murder, assassinations, and all other manners of nasty things but the moment Ichi-Oji was about to swear he would look at me and then suddenly just jump ahead in the conversation, causing others to laugh when they realised why he didn't continue as he wanted.

* * *

I couldn't remember much of my first life before turning one. I couldn't remember much of anything at that age, but apparently, I was a smart baby anyway. A normal baby developed stated that children will babble semi-coherent words from about 13 months or so, but coherent words are generally beyond them until about 18 months to two years. I didn't get this memo.

I feel like I should have questioned why no one questioned an 8-month-old baby mimicking sounds to a decent degree and a just-barley-a-year old baby making _kind of_ coherent sentences. Okaa-san didn't seem surprised by my development, and Tou-san would tell everyone who would listen about his 'Genius Daughter'. Full, properly grammared, sentences were the norm for me by age two. The advantage of being able to speak clearly was that I was able to have better communication with Tou-san, and story-time got even better as it suddenly became an interactive activity.

When I did get my memories back it was a scary moment, and I came to realise that I wasn't getting all my memories all at once. They seemed to arrive backwards, with the most recent memory before my death arriving first. At just over two years old I got to experience death again.

I was alone. Okaa-san was away as usual, but Tou-san was in his office, doing whatever he did in there. I had been asleep, enjoying my nap, but I dreamed. I dreamt of who I had been Before, of how I died. I woke up with a start and cried. Tou-san came rushing in and held me once he heard me crying. Hushing me in that way that people hush babies, but being held by him, just being close to another person at that moment, feeling their warmth numbed the pain, if only for a moment, it reminded me that I wasn't dead, that I was going to be okay. I refused to let Tou-san go after that, and for a minute he reminded me of my Dad, so I held him tighter and cried anew.

I'll admit it took me awhile to recognise where I was. I had always figured I was in historical Japan, there really hadn't been anything to suggest otherwise for a while. I knew that Okaa-san had a job that meant she was away a lot, and I knew that women working away from the home was strange in a general historical sense and that Ichi-Oji had a strange headband that I had seen a few others wear, but my eye-sight wasn't good enough to see them clearly for a long time.

I was nearly two when the two thoughts finally clicked. Ichirou-Oji had just come home after being away for a long time, and he was covered in blood, I screamed at the sight of him, convinced that he was dying. It made me remember my own death in great detail, as where before it had just been an abstract feeling, it was now a horrifying memory brought to the forefront of my mind. Bringing with it a painful sensation that stretched along my side.

It was also the first time I saw a hitae-ate in any real detail. I recognized the symbol carved into the metal or rather seeing the symbol induced more memories, but this time revolving around my teen years and my interest in anime. When I calmed down and Ichirou-Oji was sent to the hospital, as he should have done instead of coming home in that state knowing that there was a young child in the house, I showed interest in the hitae-ate and the symbol on it. Tou-san took great delight in telling me about where we were, about Konoha, and about shinobi.

I was in the Narutoverse.

Shit.

Shit. Shit Shit Shit. Motherfucking, cock sucking bullshit!

I was some civilian born child in a military dictatorship. Maybe my Okaa-san was a kunoichi, but I was definitely being raised a civilian, by a civilian.

I wanted to be able to help the people of Konoha, I wanted to be strong enough to stop what was set to happen from happening but I was a teacher Before though. I didn't know how to fight, it wasn't something I wanted to do. Even Iruka, sweet, kind Iruka had to get into fights. Nope. Not me. Not really something I could see myself doing.

Then I thought about it more. I was excited about this, about possible meeting Naruto. Meeting the Rookie 9, seeing some of the amazing things I had vague memories of happening. A venture out into the village with Tou-san dashed those budding hopes though, as I looked up at the Hokage Mountain for the first time and noticed that there were only three faces carved into the side of the cliff-face.

Shit. Again.

I had no idea when I was. For all I knew the Third Hokage was just brought in and I'd have years to go before I ever saw even the tiniest hint of the canon I recognised. There was no one glaringly obvious to me to help me figure it out, and apparently, there wasn't a formal calendar system in place, only a vague year based on which person was Hokage.

I miss the Gregorian calendar system. Whatever happened to Common Era and Before Common Era?

* * *

The first inkling of a timeframe I got was on my first playdate.

"Hi Sakumo, I hope you don't mind looking after Sayuri for a bit. Akihiko and I have been going mad trying to get things organized. Hanae is still away and Ichiro left this morning." Tou-san handed me over to who I could only assume to be Sakumo Hatake, his grey hair held back in a ponytail and a white apron covering his clothes. He wasn't the focus of my attention though, as a gazed down at a child who could only be his son. "Sayuri-chan, this is Sakumo Hatake, he is an old friend of mine." Tou-san introduced.

"It's nice to meet you Sayuri-chan." There was a pause as Sakumo shifted me in his arms, trying to get my attention. "Sayuri-chan? Are you alright?" He sounded concerned.

"Cute…" I mumbled. The boy twitched as he finally dared to look at me.

"What?"

I leapt out of Sakumo's arms and lunged for Kakashi. Squealing as I huggled him to me. I was probably giggling like a mad woman at his futile attempts to move me. The hugging wasn't an unusual reaction for me when presented with cute or pretty things, but Kakashi was just too cute at this age, all squishy-faced and small, even though he was taller than me currently and was forced to bend due for me to hug him properly without hurting either one of us. I could hear Tou-san and Sakumo laugh at us, I didn't care, Kakashi deserved all the hugs in the world. I was just starting an early payment. Kakashi voice was muffled as I squished him into me. I enjoyed hugging someone closer to my physical size for once, it made me feel less small for a change.

"Seems like Sayu-chan is happy to make a new friend. Not sure Kakashi-kun is as receptive." Tou-san laughed as he patted Sakumo on the back. "You know where I'll be if there are any major issues, but I expect Sayu-chan will be on her best behaviour. Right Sayu-chan?"

"Yes, Tou-san," I replied, keeping Kakashi-kun trapped against me.

"Good luck Sakumo," Tou-san said, waving as he left the house.

"Ne, Sayuri-chan? Are you going to let go of Kashi-chan any time soon?" I think Sakumo was concerned about the interesting colours Kakashi was tuning. Turns out red clashed horribly with his hair. "Come on Sayuri-chan, let him go so you could be properly introduced." I giggled at Sakumo's attempt to appeal to the imaginary manners I probably should have been taught by now.

"Okay, Hatake-san." I cheered, releasing Kakashi. He fell to the ground and all but ran away from me the moment my arms relaxed slightly, hiding behind his father with a glare on his face. "Hatake-san, you need to teach Kakashi-kun not to run away from girls. He'll never get a girlfriend like that. Okaa-san said that's why Ichirou-Oji doesn't have a wife, he keeps running away." I said sagely, nodding to myself as I looked up at Sakumo.

"Call me Sakumo, Sayuri-chan." He said between restraining himself from laughing. His shoulders shaking from the exertion. "And you're right. Will you help Kashi-chan?" Sakumo-san was now hiding his face behind his hand.

"Un. I'll find Kakashi-kun the best girlfriend!"

"What if I don't want a girlfriend?" Kakashi pouted from his safe spot behind Sakumo's leg.

"Then I'll find you the best boyfriend!" Sakumo-san finally let loose. His laughter was full and rich, echoing around the room as tears crept out of the corner of his eyes. He hunched over holding his stomach, only moving back up to take a gulp of air between peals of laughter.

* * *

Kakashi glared at the small girl that was brought into the sanctuary of his home by a friend of his father. She was probably an average size for her age, but Kakashi didn't have much experience with children his age, let alone younger than him. The fact that within minutes of entering his home the small girl had suffocated him, insulted him and decided that he was some kind of challenge for the future made Kakashi decide that girls were a strange different species and he was better off never having to deal with them personally if he could avoid it.

However, she had also made his father laugh in a way he hadn't heard before and seemed to be perfectly comfortable with the fact that Kakashi didn't want to be too close to her at the current time.

He looked at the girl again. There was nothing special about the girl from what he could tell. She was average height for her age, with brown hair that was tied up in two pigtails and a straight cut fringe across her forehead. Kakashi could say that her eyes might have been considered interesting, they were dark, pitch-black, no discernible colour in a way that was usually associated with the Uchiha clan, but that would have been her only claim to fame. Excluding her personality. Kakashi decided, from this first meeting that if he could go his whole life without meeting anyone else as exuberant as Sayuri Akiyama he could die happy.

Somewhere in Konoha a young Maito Gai sneezed.

Kakashi also decided that he probably wouldn't have a better friend. She may have invaded his personal space within minutes of entering his home, but she backed off when asked and hadn't attempted to get close to him again since. Over the course of their future meetings, he would notice that Sayuri was exceptionally good at reading his mood and responding appropriately.

 _Yes,_ Kakashi thought _She's not a bad person to have as a friend at all._

* * *

Sakumo Hatake was generally a man that was content with his lot in life. While saddened by the loss of his dear wife, Kakashi's mother, he was happy enough with his intelligent but generally stoic son. So, seeing said son have such an emotive reaction to the small girl that was currently in his care brought no small amount of joy to him. Within minutes the little girl had declared herself Kakashi's personal matchmaker and probably caused him to have an aversion to touching; or at least being hugged. Within an hour she had his son wrapped around her little finger, having him following her instructions in a game she was forcing him to play.

"I already told you. It goes in a cycle. Jack, Queen, King, Ace, two, three and so on and so forth. And you're supposed to get rid of your cards, why do you keep slapping the bigger pile? Are you going easy on me because I'm a girl?" Sayuri explained, again, glaring at Kakashi. Sakumo had to hand it to Jirou and Hanae, their daughter could articulate very well for her age. Though she was also definitely her mother's daughter, bossy.

Sakumo laughed to himself as he watched his son get yelled at by the little girl, again. Seeing Sayuri sitting seiza while glaring at Kakashi was absolutely something she must have learned from watching her mother, Sakumo felt a slight shiver go down his spine remembering the times Hanae had glared at him in the past.

"Ne, Sayuri-chan. When are you going to start to look for a partner for Kashi-chan?" Sakumo interrupted, stopping Sayuri from explaining the rules of the game again, enjoying the look of contained horror on his son's face, the dramatic paling and widening eyes.

"Ummm. Hmm. Not until he's older. Children shouldn't worry about things like that."

"Aren't you younger than me Brat?"

"I'm not a brat you Baka!" Poor little Sayuri glared at Kakashi. Her face turned upwards in an expression that was 100% her mother. "Anyway, age has nothing to do with maturity. Tou-san says I'm an old soul. Okaa-san says that I got female maturity from her side of the family, and she says that when I'm older I'm going to be head of the Akiyama Clan, so I'd get to be on the civilian council. I'm also going to be a member of the Merchant Guild, Ichi-Oji said so." The look she gave Kakashi was most definitely the preening, proud look her father owned.

"Then I fear for the future of Konoha." Kakashi intoned dryly. Sakumo sighed, he'd have to teach the boy about the dangers of responding to clearly passionate and proud people. If Sayuri didn't teach him first.

"What did you say Bakashi?" She screeched. Sakumo was now certain that Sayuri was going to be the one to teach Kakashi the danger of passionate people one way or another. Sakumo watched the argument escalate across the room. Sayuri seemed to burn with the energy that only a two-year-old could possess.

The playdate ended when Sayuri finally ran out of energy. It wasn't a gradual process, in fact, she had been mid-sentence when she face planted the table she and Kakashi were seated at. Sakumo snorted when Kakashi jumped out of his skin, calling for Sakumo to make sure that the girl hadn't suddenly died, it was only an hour later when Jirou came to collect his daughter.

"So… How was she Sakumo?" Jirou asked as he scooped up the toddler, resting her head against his shoulder.

"She… She was quite something Jirou. I won't mind having her again if you need someone to look after her. I think she'll be good for Kashi-chan."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. She's decided that she's going to find him a girlfriend or boyfriend in the future. She also seems to be training him in a way not dissimilar to how I train the pups." Training him for something that only Sayuri seemed to know. 'Rewarding' him with hugs for seemingly random acts and swatting at him for others. Though Sakumo was unsure how successful the hug tactic was, as Kakashi seemed uncomfortable with the contact either way.

"If you could. Next week I've got back-to-back meetings and Hanae will be away on a mission, and Ichi-nii isn't meant to be back by then."

"Maa, no worries Jirou, I'm still down as on medical leave for at least another month."

And with that Kakashi became cursed with regular visits from Sayuri Amiyaka.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

After my first visit to the Hatake household I returned many times, celebrating my second birthday with the small family and seeing them before the new year's celebrations. When I visited in June the following year I was let in on a fact that would have blown my mind if not for the fact that I already knew about it. But it still amazed feat me none the less.

"You're going to the Academy already? But you're only four!" I knew Kakashi entered and completed the Academy young, but the fact that he was four and he was going to enter the Academy to start his ninja career did seem a bit much. "I'm gonna have to ask Okaa-san or Ichi-Oji to start training so that I can go to the Academy too."

I didn't really want to be a ninja. I couldn't be one Before, I never wanted to be any type of fighter, but being strong enough, powerful enough to look after myself and others was important to me, especially in this world where civilians are just unfortunate casualties. I didn't think I could ever kill someone, but that didn't mean that being a support ninja wasn't beyond me, or being more Village based, which would be a perfect position if I wanted the change to influence the inner workings of the Village.

"Does everyone enter the Academy so young?" Four seemed quite young to make choices about the future, and in the manga, Kakashi seemed like he was only a ninja because that was what everyone said he should do. Though I couldn't imagine Kakashi as much else. Maybe a dog-sitter, or a beta reader for Jiraiya's porn.

"Well~. I've been teaching my Little Scarecrow for a while now, so he's ready for the Academy. And children normally enter the Academy at about five during war time, so Kashi isn't entering that early compared to others." Sakumo said messing Kakashi hair, causing the young Hatake to glare up at his father.

"Ne, Kakashi-kun, why are you wearing a mask?" I poked his cheek, pinching the material between my fingers and stretching it, Kakashi had taken to wearing a scarf across his face when his enhanced sense of smell came in, but the arrival of a proper mask under said scarf was new. My hand was swatted away by the irritated four-year-old. "Is it because you're too cute? Because I poked your beauty spot like a button? Because I made a point of touching your fangs?" I kept trying to pull off the mask with each question, but it almost seemed to be glued in place. I could see that Kakashi was getting deader in his eyes as I kept annoying him. I'm convinced that if we were older there would be a vein throbbing on his forehead.

"Are all girls like you?" Kakashi deadpanned. "And they're not fangs, they're canines, just sharper. Otou-san has the same teeth too." I could hear Sakumo-san laughing from the kitchen where he was preparing some snacks for the afternoon. I found out the Sakumo-san couldn't cook, at all. All the snacks he made were the premade kind, where all he had to do was throw them in the oven. The first time I experienced Sakumo-san trying to cook I had to run away for fear of smoke inhalation.

"No Kakashi-kun. I'm just special." I flashed him a smile, trying to be all cutesy, trying to abuse how cute I was as a toddler."But if girls bother you so much I'll focus on finding you a boyfriend in the future."

"Are you still focused on that?" Kakashi raised an eyebrow at me. Making his way around to lay the table.

"I'll let it slide for now if you tell me about your time at the Academy. Have you made any friends yet? Are there any cute people in your class? Is your teacher nice? Are there any interesting people?" I was rushing through questions, knowing that Kakashi would answer them all for fear that I would pester him about any that he didn't answer.

"Maa. Class is alright. I haven't made any friends yet, but I don't need them. I'm not sure about cute people, what makes a person cute? Hirono-sensei is alright, I couldn't tell you much about him yet. I don't know if anyone is interesting. I don't really talk to many of the people in my class. I'll probably know more about some of them in the next few weeks. There was this one kid who was late to the entrance ceremony and cried." _Poor, poor Obito._

"Are you looking forward to being a ninja one day?"

"I guess." He shrugged. It's moment like this I hated how indifferent Kakashi could be, he didn't mean to be, but he just had this expectation that everyone viewed the world the way he did and couldn't always understand that most people didn't, but I'd teach him better over time. He returned to the low table in the living room to continue his homework ignoring my glare at his apathetic response.

* * *

It was three months later that we celebrated both Kakashi's and Sakumo's birthdays. Unfortunately, Sakumo was on a mission for his, but he was back in time for Kakashi's, so we extra special effort was put in for Kakashi. Technically it was a joint party but Sakumo never let the attention stay on him for too long, being the doting father that he was, he tried to make sure that Kakashi was getting all the attention that he thought his son deserved.

I helped my Tou-san bake the cake for the party, which meant that he let me help with the icing, which really meant that I got to lick the spoon when he was done and throw some edible glitter onto the top because even with a twenty-six-year-old mind I decided all children needed to have sparkles, and the sadistic part of my brain decided that if I had to have suffered the annoyance of glitter once Before, everyone gets to suffer with me now. Plus, people normally only turned five once, unless they're me.

Fun fact, turns out that Kakashi HATES glitter, as he told me much later after his birthday. Sakumo had been amused about finding glitter on his things days after the party and even after all his clothes had been washed, Kakashi however felt that he would rather stab his eyes with blunt kunai than see another spec of glitter again. After that interesting conversation I decided that I would one day glitter bomb Kakashi, preferably with something obvious and hard to wash out, just to be cruel.

It was a fun party, despite being basically all actual adults except for me and Kakashi. I thought I saw a young Gai for a moment, but I couldn't be sure, but I know I definitely saw someone in a green jumpsuit. My family got Sakumo some easy cookbooks, apparently, he had always been a horrid cook according to Okaa-san, and a whetstone to sharpen his swords and kunai. For Kakashi we got him some kunai and some chakra control scrolls, he seemed pleases with it, but it's hard to tell with the indifferent prick and his face covering mask, at least he hadn't learnt how to hide emotions from his eyes yet.

My family excused themselves when the sake started being passed around, probably to keep me from seeing a load of people drunk, and I imagine the drunk shinobi is quite a sight, but little did my parents know that I spent my previous life growing up in Britain, and binge drinking was a part of our culture, for some reason that no one had ever explained to me. I didn't mind leaving, being physically two was exhausting, I said my goodbyes to Sakumo and Kakashi, promising that I'd be back soon and that Kakashi had better have more stories about the academy, or really any.

* * *

The next time I came to visit the Hatake household I was dropped off in a rush. I don't know why I was left in such a rush. I wasn't sure I liked the fact that I had to be dropped off randomly at other houses instead of left on my own for any period of time, but I'd admit that I was glad that I wasn't being treated like a full adult, my small body didn't really accommodate the tasks that looking after one's self-required. I had been taught to be independent in my last life from a young age, but two turning three was a bit young to be worrying about any of that. Thought I might have to take over cooking for the Hatakes if the black mush I was looking at was anything to go by. It definitely not fit for human consumption.

"What is it supposed to be Sakumo-san?" I poked the mush, worried that it might move if I poked it just right. Looking across the table to Kakashi told me that this kind of meal was something he was entirely too used to.

"Eh, haha~. It's meant to be a vegetable curry." Sakumo-san rubbed the back of his head, his face going red with embarrassment. Decidedly not looking at the pile of wet ash he tried to pass off as a meal.

"You can't cook Sakumo-san." I deadpanned, looking thoroughly unimpressed with the meal. "Okaa-san cooks better than you." Which is definitely an insult, Okaa-san wasn't a housewife by any means. All the house jobs were left to Tou-san.

"Sayuri-chan! Blasphemy! Impudent child!" Sakumo-san cried, he was quite an overdramatic man when inside his own home, he was prone to heavy sarcasm and dramatic fits when he was comfortable around someone, it made me wonder if that was why Kakashi tried to act as 'normal' as possible, to make up for his dad's 'weirdness'. He moved around the table to grab me and held me close to his chest.

"You are so mean to me Sayuri-chan. You must now suffer a suffocating hug." I must admit to feeling slight guilt towards Kakashi now, this was annoying and I had no way to get out. The hug reminded me of when I used to annoy my mum and we would make up but she had to have the last word and would squeeze me just a bit too tight and wouldn't let me go until she felt she was done.

"Kakashi-kun! Save me!" I tried to squirm out of Sakumo grasp.

"No."

"Kakashi-kun~!"

"No. Suffer."

"Bakashi-teme!"

"Such language Sayuri-chan." Sakumo-san admonished me, squeezing me a little bit tighter. "Where did you learn such things?"

"Ichiro-Oji." I had no shame throwing my uncle the metaphorical bus, he had laughed when I asked why he was still single and didn't give me an explanation when I pushed further for an answer. My dear Ichi-Oji was a good-looking, successful shinobi, why wouldn't I be curious as to why he was still single, so how dare he not satisfy my childish curiosity. "He said that there is something called a 'pervy-teme' that he sometimes works with. And that if I ever see a large white-haired man I should go the other way so that I don't become tainted with its perverseness."

Before that conversation with dear Ichi-Oji I never realised that my uncle was the same age as the Sannin, it kind of blew my mind, I always imagined the Sannin as people who were grandparent age, not as people that my family might know and work with, but it did make sense, as Jiraiya is said to be in his fifties by the future chunin exams, and those are a good twenty years away.

"Oh. Are you sure that you should be hanging out with me then Sayuri-chan?" Sakumo teased as he rubbed chin across the top of my head, messing up my hair.

"You have grey hair. Not white."

"Hey, it's silver. And Kashi-chan has the same hair." Sakumo turned us around so that I could face Kakashi who was looking at us with a dazed glance.

"No. It's grey, like an old mans." I giggled, enjoying the small glare that Kakashi was now giving me, I couldn't see Sakumo-sans face but I can imagine that he was glaring at me too. "Do you know who Ichi-Oji was talking about?" If Jiraiya was the same age as my uncle then he had to be a similar age to Sakumo-san. And Sakumo-san was an extraordinary shinobi, so it wasn't a large stretch of the imagination to think that they've worked together at some point.

"I fought alongside a man with white hair during the war. He's a very strong shinobi and a master spy, but your uncle is right, he does have a habit of peeping into the women's side of the onsen." Sakumo chuckled nervously at this, I can only imagine what he was thinking in regards to the Great Toad Sage.

"There was a war?" I honestly didn't know the timeline for the wars as well as I wished I did, I didn't know how long the time of peace was and I only had a vague idea of how and when the third war started.

"Yes, Sayuri-chan. In fact, it only finished recently, the Kages are currently meeting to agree on the terms of peace. The Village will stay in war-time operations for the next year, and then we'll transition back into peace-time status."

"Isn't your Okaa-san a kunoichi? Shouldn't she have told you about the war?" Thank you Kakashi for your skills of observation.

"Okaa-san has been going on lots of missions, I haven't seen her in a long time, and Tou-san doesn't like talking about ninja stuff." Which was true, more specifically, he doesn't like talking about what Okaa-san what does. Tou-san will grumble to himself and quickly change the subject, I had a sneaking suspicion that she's either in the Seduction Corps, a member of ANBU, or a part of an infiltration team.

Those seemed like the three divisions that were most likely to keep to themselves.

The rest of my time spent in the Hatake household on that November day was more subdued.

* * *

I didn't see Kakashi or Sakumo again until my third birthday. It was a mild day for December, it wasn't raining, or particularly cold, just overcast. Tou-san invited a lot of his friends and their kids, if they had any. I got to meet the famous Ino-Shika-Chou trio from across two generations. I was super jealous of Inoichi's hair, it was so long and pretty, exactly the type of hair I would have wished for Before, and I forced him, as well as a three-year-old can force a thirteen-year-old to do anything, to do my hair. He did it up into a pretty bun, I thanked him with a childish kiss on the cheek, enjoying the way that the young blond flushed red and cheekily grinning as his two teammates snickered at him.

"Look Jirou, young romance." The elder Yamanaka said, pointing towards me with the boys, where Inoichi was wiping his face complaining about children carrying illnesses, and not knowing where I had been.

"No~! He's too pretty. 'Gonna marry a strong man like Tou-san." I whined childishly, running up to Tou-san and hugging his legs. I didn't like pretty boys romantically in the last life and I still don't like them now, they just didn't appeal to me or my current lack of hormones. Plus, the offended look on Inoichi's face made the comment worth it. Young men don't like being called pretty, and seeing him whine to his teammates and long-time friends that he 'was a strong, handsome man dammit' was hilarious.

"Yeah, my smart little Sayu-chan will knows to only marry a man strong enough to protect her from pretty boys." Tou-san teased, placing his hand on my head, but not musing my hair, he knew what would happen if he messed up my neat new bun.

Tou-san definitely wasn't what I would call a 'pretty' man. With hard eyes, slanted eyebrows, a strong, square jaw with constant stubble, my Tou-san had a rugged handsomeness that I could see attracting a pretty woman like my Okaa-san. His dark brown, mid-length hair was tied back at the nape of his neck with a simple ribbon, the long hair didn't soften his face, but seemed to emphasize the roughness of it instead. No, it was his easy smile and beaming personality that made my Tou-san able to make friends with nearly anyone he met. His being a civilian did little to impair his interactions with the ninja half of the Village.

Deciding to continue to milk my second childhood for all it's worth wandered over to the Akimichi's in the room and tugged on the Elder Akimichi's trouser leg.

"Ne, Jii-san, how do you know Tou-san?" How _did_ a ninja clan head know a simple merchant?

"Well Sayuri-chan, your Otou-san here is the head of a merchant clan that specialises in metal and wood trade here in the Land of Fire, with your branch family handling the metal trade in the Land of Wind, and he's trying to see about expanding to food trade for the Land of Wind, as the desert doesn't make it easy to grow most crops. The Akimichi clan, as well as being a ninja clan, also have lots of contracts with food merchants that supply our restaurants, so your Otou-san has been meeting with my clan to agree on how to provide food to Wind."

"Tou-san is a clan head?!" How was I not made aware of this? I knew that we were a clan, but technically the Hatake's were a clan, clan basically means any family that has or once had power in some way, shape or form.

"Yes."

"Does that mean that I'm a clan princess?" If so I demand a crown.

"Yes."

"Kakashi-kun you have to listen to what I say now. I'm a princess." Bow down to me future scary ninja, I'm a clan princess. "Are we a large clan Tou-san?"

"I'll be teaching you about the clan soon, but know that most of our clan travels around, going between the mines and forests we own and are currently searching for viable farm lands to expand our trade, as well as travelling with our goods to sell them when needed."

"Cool. Was Okaa-san from the clan too?"

"No, your Okaa-san was originally an Uchiha."

"Whaaa~?" An Uchiha? Really? Would I be able to develop the Sharingan in the future? Maybe I really could be a ninja if I had super ninja magic eyes to help keep me alive.

"Did you never tell poor little Sayuri-chan about her family Jirou?" The elder Nara teased.

"She just turned three! How much did she need to know?" Tou-san grumbled, "The whole history of Konoha? How about the history of the Elemental Nations?" So much sass Tou-san. But honestly, how did I not know I was part of a proper clan and not just a civilian family that was once a clan. I'm totally going to be a princess. "Sayu-chan is smart, but she needs to be a child for a bit before she learns about clan politics and merchant skills." I loved Tou-san more and more every day, and it was moments like these, when he didn't decide to rush me into second adulthood, that reinforced it for me.

"That's fair enough Jirou. Aya and I have only recently introduced Chouza into the clan meetings. We decided that chunin rank was the benchmark we were using." The elder Akimichi nodded to Tou-san, agreeing with his logic.

I found I liked the Akimichi family, they were kind, and Chouza offered me a chip during the party, it was BBQ flavoured. The Yamanaka's were okay, they kept asking questions about how I felt about different things, and what were my thoughts on some obscure concepts, and Inoichi looked at me strangely, he kept flickering between assessing me and wanting to do nothing with me. I knew I didn't talk like a three-year-old but lots of kids were prodigies in this world, Sakumo constantly boasted about how young Kakashi started walking and talking, I wasn't too special in that regard, and if I was the daughter of an Uchiha then I was likely on par for my age.

The Nara's made me laugh, Aikido Nara was a bit of a mother bear type, and definitely the head of her household, Shikai Nara seemed the stereotype Nara, lazy but clearly intelligent, he seemed to regard me as a person regards a particularly intelligent pet. Shikaku Nara , in contrast, with fresh scars marring his face, didn't seem to know what to do with me. Childcare was obviously not a Nara specialisation.

Poor Shikamaru.

* * *

The rest of my birthday passed without issue. Our guests left with promises to visit again in the future, though Inoichi seemed reluctant to give such a promise if his tight grin had been anything to go by. Tou-san spent the rest of the evening cleaning up the worst of the mess, but he was clearly leaving things to do in the morning. I had been sent up to my room, and was looking out the window, the cool outside air was causing the glass fog up. The party had been great but it made me remember things I wished I could forget, family gatherings with a family I would never see again. The laughs and jokes and jeers that had echoed around the main room stung as images overlapped of two lives.

For the first time in three years, of one truly conscience year, I fully realised what I had lost. I would never get to see my parents again, never get to banter with my siblings or have deep conversations with my Nan. There would be events and holidays that had no meaning where I was now, and things I'll never get to see. I'd never see Andrew or Mary get married, have kids, settle into their work. I wasn't going to be around to see my parents' anniversaries.

I felt a weight in my gut as my revelation settled. For all that I was lucky in this new life, the cost was high, and I wasn't sure I was worthy of it. I hadn't done anything to deserve this second change, there were probably hundreds of people who died the same day as me that actually deserved to live. Good, honest people, with usable skills. People who could throw themselves into the inner workings of Konoha and try to make a change to the system. Not me. I couldn't do it. I'm not a fighter, or a politician, or anyone really.

I was just Azalea, now I'm just Sayuri.

Just little Sayuri Akiyama, civilian born nobody.

I felt the first tear hit my hand as I turned my face from the window.

I cried silent tears as I went to lay in my bed to sleep. I waited for the cool embrace of sleep to take me to the dark numbness that would occupy me until dawn.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Kakashi looked at his friend with suspicion. He couldn't name what had happened, but since her birthday Sayuri had been acting differently. If Kakashi had to describe it he would say it was like there was a bubble around Sayuri that stopped her from properly interacting with the world around her. She smiled when she was meant to, and feigned interesting in different things, but Kakashi could tell that Sayuri wasn't really there when they sat opposite each other. He wanted to ask what had happened, but he wasn't sure if he could, he knew that Sayuri was his friend really, but what if she didn't feel the same way, what if the change in attitude was just the three-year-old being unable to keep up her happy façade any longer?

Kakashi pushed that idea to the side, he knew Sayuri was smart, but the idea that the child, a toddler really, could fake her whole personality and maintain it for any notable length of time was laughable. So Kakashi looked closer at his friend, what had changed since he last saw her; her clothes looked normal, her hair was the same, she didn't look any bigger or smaller in any way other than expected growth for her age. She had bags under her eyes that were never there before, her attitude had also changed. She was more withdrawn, less talkative, and even when she was visiting him and his father Kakashi noticed that Sayuri would disappear to be on her own for a while. It was during one of these moments that Kakashi brought his concerns to his father.

Sakumo looked down at his son and listened carefully as Kakashi explained his issues and asked what he should do to help his friend. It seemed like the young girl was depressed, but Sakumo brushed the idea off, as it was unlikely that a girl as young as Sayuri was actually depressed, it seemed much more likely that someone had said something to Sayuri and she was upset by it. Or she was just possibly missing her mother, who Sakumo knew hadn't come back from her mission yet.

"Well, the best thing to do is let her know that you're her friend and be willing to listen to her if she wants to talk about what's upsetting her. Forcing Sayuri to talk about what's wrong might just upset her more. She isn't a shinobi, she wouldn't be expected to be honest about her emotional state. She will tell you when she's ready." Sakumo said in all his adult wisdom, having also noted Sayuri's strange behaviour in the last week since her birthday. "Maybe you can offer to stay with her during the New Years celebration." He offered as Kakashi looked put out by the lack of a clear action plan.

Kakashi thought about the option and decided it as the best course of action, as spending time with Sayuri in a different but similar setting might just help Sayuri talk about what is upsetting her. Though Kakashi wasn't sure how he was meant to broach the subject of what was upsetting Sayuri, he didn't know how to talk about emotions or anything of the like. Kakashi found himself wishing that Sayuri was like his Otou-sans' dogs, with visible cues as to what they're feeling.

"I'll let Jirou know that you'll be staying at his for the New Year. I'm sure he'd be happy to have you for the night, I'll take him out for the festival so that you can have the chance to talk to Sayuri privately."

* * *

It would be a lie to say that New Year passed without ceremony. While I wasn't allowed to join in with the festivities as I wasn't really old enough to be trusted to not run off, I wasn't alone. Kakashi stayed with me, allowing Tou-san to go out and enjoy the evening. Sakumo offered to stay with us but Kakashi claimed that he would be able to look after the two of us for a few hours. Though I thought I saw Sakumo wink at Kakashi as he left the house. It must have been my imagination though as Kakashi didn't react to it.

After a little while of sitting in the main room I decided that I wanted to be able to look outside at the woodland that stood at the back of the house. The winter air chilled the room, but I didn't want to get up to go get my shawl or a blanket. Kakashi had been quiet since he arrived, but he picked up my hairbrush and moved to sit behind me. He brushed my hair as we watched the sun set, we could hear the festival in the distance, could smell the delicious scent of street food wafting through the air, but we stayed sitting on the back porch of the house, just watching the sky. It was nice. Kakashi hadn't said anything in a while. Sitting in my home whilst the sky turned dark, and the first flash of colour exploded in the sky.

I knew that I should have been enjoying the sight before, or at least enjoying the time I got to spend with Kakashi, but I couldn't. I still couldn't enjoy this life, knowing that I deprived someone else of the chance of being alive, maybe I had stolen the life of the original Sayuri Akiyama. The celebrations just made me feel worse, it might be a new year, but for some people close to me that just meant a year closer to death, until they would leave me behind like I left behind everyone I ever knew and loved. Each flash of coloured light was just a pale imitation of the celebrations and festivals I once knew.

Kakashi gave my hair a tug drawing me back to where I was. I ran a small hand through my hair, feeling the braid the Kakashi had plaited. It was surprisingly complicated, with smaller plaits making up the larger braid that ran down my back. I turned to smile at Kakashi as he moved around to sit next to me instead of behind me still. He still didn't say anything but allowed me to lean on him as we continued to watch the fireworks flashing across the evening sky. We still hadn't said anything when I eventually dosed off, listening to the distant sound of the festival.

* * *

The new year started, not with a fizzle but a crash, or rather a wailing cry as Ichirou-Oji entered the house covered in blood, again. While I was more used to seeing Ichi-Oji dirty and dishevelled when he came back from missions, it was always a bit of a shock when he came back looking like he had just come from a warzone, which was entirely possible with my limited knowledge of the world outside Konoha's walls. It didn't help that Ichi-Oji was holding his side in a clearly pained manner and one of his arms was hanging in an unnatural way. I felt perfectly justified in having dropped my cup of tea and letting the mug smash on the floor. Tou-san came rushing out at the ruckus, took one look at Ichi-Oji and rushed him to the hospital, complaining loudly how Ichi-Oji should have known better than to show up at the house in his state.

When Ichi-Oji returned from the hospital several days later, his arm in a sling and confined to bedrest or minimal movement, he spent most of the day moaning about how there wasn't anything for him to do. When Tou-san suggested that his brother go somewhere else to relax it just started another triage of complaints about how there wasn't really anywhere for shinobi to just hangout without being drunk, which when on pain medication was not an option. It took nearly a week of Ichi-Oji whining from the sofa for Tou-san to decide he needed to do something about the lack of places for ninja to go to when they have downtime.

Bless Tou-san and his need to help his older brother, or simply get Ichi-Oji to shut up, with all the extra work he was doing other people could forget that Tou-san was a clan head. Tou-san was good at delegating work among the clan I noticed, only having to the deal with the most important stuff himself. He had spent several days going between meetings about the current state of the clan and the possibility of opening is a café or hub for shinobi to gather in. They reached out to the Akimichi clan to discuss the shinobi aspect of running a business aimed at hosting the shinobi half of the village. Which led to even more meetings, but at least during those ones I was allowed to meet with Akimichi clan children.

Okaa-san had also come home since the turn of the new year arriving in late January, it had been the first time I really saw her for as long as I could remember. She had the typical Uchiha long, silky black hair, that loose hung to about her waist. I was shocked to realise that I had her eyes, the same dark eyes gleamed with amusement at me as she glanced at Tou-sans flustered attempts to complete the forms that would allow him to open his café. It was clear that Okaa-san didn't really know how to interact with me, she was awkward in how she addressed me. She didn't have any cute nicknames for me, and I didn't feel comfortable showing her how much smarter than an actual three-year-old I was.

I watched as Tou-san tried to implement all he learnt from everyone but knew that it would a bit of trial and error until he found what was needed to make the café thrive. The café was due to open in early March, just after Okaa-sans birthday. I was helping Tou-san with the menu, wishing that I could have added some of my old favourite foods, but to introduce them randomly would just create questions that I wasn't prepared to answer. I really felt like pizza would be a great addition to any diet. The illustrious clan elders, who I hadn't really met yet, had decided that the café would be an opportunity to test whether or not branching out into the food market would be profitable.

* * *

The opening of 'Brew-Tea-Ful' wasn't a grand event, as ninja tend to not like anything new too much. A few civilians showed up, and I recognized a couple Akimichi family members, probably to see what advice Tou-san had implemented. I was dressed up in a nice pale pink kimono that was decorated with deep pink lilies with a purple obi tied around my waist. Tou-san did my hair up to match his with a small braid hidden within a larger braid tied off with a purple ribbon in a bow.

We didn't have a lot of staff in the cafe, that may change in the future but for now, we had Kenzo-san, Momo-san, Suzuki-san and Nanae-san. Kenzo-san was to be our main chef, he would do the few meal dishes we would serve and the savoury snacks. Momo-san did our sweet deserts and snacks, she would also occasionally help out waitressing as well, as she made most of the snacks in the morning. Suzuki-san and Nanae-san were to be the main waitresses.

Suzuki-san had to be my favourite by far, she reminded me of an old battle axe type with her no-nonsense attitude, she was an older woman, and apparently an ex-kunoichi who had to retire due to injury, she had a hard face with ice blue eyes, but she had a best morbid humour I had yet to encounter. Nanae-san, by comparison, was a motherly type, kind brown eyes and a bit of extra weight that no kunoichi would be caught dead with. She was purely civilian, a mother of two herself with plans for a third. Kenzo-san, with his wrinkled face and smiling green eyes made me laugh though, upon meeting him he told Tou-san that I was too skinny and too smart, he blamed my Okaa-san. Momo-san seemed to be quite love struck, apparently she saw working as the café as training for her future husband. It turned out that her beau was none-other than Chouza Akimichi, they had met during the Academy and had been sweethearts since.

It also turns out that both Momo and Suzuki were both on the reserve shinobi list, and in times of crisis could be called in to help lift the burden on the active shinobi. Tou-san had laughed it off stating that if Konoha was in such a state of crisis it was unlikely he would have the café open so he wouldn't have to worry about replacement staff in that situation. I wasn't entirely sure how I felt about Tou-sans blasé attitude but I could see where he was coming from so it didn't bother me too much in the end.

* * *

March also brought about the first of the genin mock exams and revision sessions. Kakashi was confident, he knew he could graduate early anyway, so despite not having even completed a full year at the Academy Kakashi entered himself into the exam. Sakumo-san was proud, as expected, of his son and would tell everyone and anyone about 'his son the genius'. Which in turn started Tou-san boasting about my own intelligence, which got Okaa-san curious as to why I had been hiding such a part of myself from her.

But none of that concerned me that day, it was a good day. I felt like I could actually function as a small human being for the first time in a while, maybe it was the nice weather, or just the unadulterated joy that Tou-san was exuding, but the smile on my face didn't feel forced. Kakashi was there with Sakumo perusing the menu, and at the first moment of oportunity I took Kakashi away to talk about how everything was going for him.

"Do you feel confident for your exam?" I hated my childish voice at moments like this, but Kakashi respected that I seemed to have an older mind for my age, it was just hard to believe when I sounded like a Munchkin for Munchkinland.

"Yeah, Otou-san taught me bits so that I would be sure to pass." Kakashi had relaxed into the sofa that was in the staffroom.

"Anything you can show me?"

"We did the Transformation Jutsu first." He put his hands up and after a look of concentration the Hokage was standing in front of me.

"Cool! How did you do that?!" With a poof, the image of the Hokage disappeared and Kakashi reappeared. I never understood if the henge was chakra physically changing the appearance of the user, or if it was a layer of chakra that cloaked the user and thus changed their image. Either way it seemed complicated and hard to maintain.

"Um, well, it's chakra."

"But _how?_ What does your charka do to allow you to change the way you look? Is it corporeal, if you transform into someone taller than you, and someone else went to pat your head, what would they feel?"

Kakashi blinked at me as if he had never considered the theory behind jutsus before, which was entirely possible seeing as chakra was the norm here, and most things could be explained simply by its existence. We sat in silence for a bit while Kakashi pondered over his answer, before he straightened up to look at me, earning my full concentration and attention.

"When I do a transformation, it feels like I'm forcing my chakra outwards, and then when I've got it in the shape I want I have to just hold it there. As far as I know, when in a transformation, other people will feel what they expect to feel, but it's really easy to be knocked out from a henge, so I wouldn't bother with it if there was a high risk of physical contact, it's better to just use a disguise that's aided by a henge in that case."

Huh. That kind of made sense, I had vague memories of people being able to hit and be hit by the physical manifestations of chakra, so a henge just being a controlled version seemed possible. It just didn't explain how Naruto was able to make his 'sexy transformation' and not feel awkward in his body, unless gender wasn't really a thing that Naruto thought, or will think, about, but that's something to think about in the future.

"Do you think you could teach me?" I still didn't want to be a full-fledged ninja, but some tips and tricks could help keep me alive if worst came to worst, and chakra control seemed to be a superpower in its own right, allowing for faster healing, superior senses and a whole slew of other benefits. As long as I didn't go into full training it was unlikely that real shinobi would be able to see me as anything other than a civilian, maybe an Academy drop-out at best.

"I could, but why not ask your Okaa-san or Ichirou-san? I'm sure that they would be more than willing to teach you." Kakashi suggested, looking curiously at me.

"If I asked Okaa-san then she would expect me to go to the Academy, and I'm not sure I want to be a kunoichi, and Ichi-Oji is still on medical leave, he isn't supposed to be using his chakra more than what he uses naturally."

"You don't want to be a kunoichi? Why would you want to learn the transformation jutsu if you don't want to be a kunoichi?"

"I just…I just don't want to be helpless if something happened. I know I couldn't ever really hurt someone, and that even if I had the skills to fight I'd probably not be very effective, or that I'd end up losing a bit of myself if I was forced to fight. I can't do it, but I know that I'm not always going to be safe… and, and, and…"

Kakashi stopped me mid rant by hugging me, it was the first time he had ever willingly hugged me, but my distress must have been obvious enough for him to pick up on the fact that I wasn't comfortable with the situation. As good as my day had begun the numbness had crept back up on me whilst I was trapped in Kakashi's arms, the thought that I shouldn't be there, that anything I wanted to do would just end up in ruins anyway so why bother. Why bother to learn the transformation jutsu if I knew I'd never have the courage to use it? Why bother being friends with Kakashi if in the end I'd probably leave him behind like I had everyone else?

* * *

For the next few weeks, whilst the café was beginning to build up business and Tou-san was running around keeping the clan in check while also manage the café, Kakashi began to teach me about chakra theory and what I would need to do to achieve a henge. We also did some basic physical training, but it turns out that my ineptitude with sports carried from across my previous lifetime, I had great stamina, but that was about it. I wasn't fast, I wasn't strong and I was about as flexible as a wooden board, and my small child body wasn't showing signs of developing either of those skills.

I was also dealing with my ongoing depression during all this, while I hadn't wanted to name it early, the numb days and indifference to some of the things going on around me had finally become too much for me to just ignore as me being upset about my situation. I wouldn't be so dramatic as to say that I couldn't feel anything, as that's not how depression works for me, it has always been like there is a thin film between me and the rest of the world, and every bad thought or feeling is trapped with me on the inside.

It was probably a blessing that I was still physically three and therefore not in charge of my own care, or people might have picked up on what was happening a lot sooner. Okaa-san seemed to have cottoned on to that I wasn't entirely 'normal', but she never addressed it with me, I could see that she sometimes wanted to talk to me about something, but she never went through with it. Tou-san was busier than he had been for a while, and Ichi-Oji was spending a lot of his time at the café now, catching up with other shinobi on medical leave or other people he knew.

It was early May when Kakashi deemed me capable of attempting my first henge. He had graduated only a week earlier and was waiting for his team assignment as he hadn't been given a genin team like the rest of his class. We were at his house as Sakumo wasn't home and my 'training' had been done in secret. I had spent the morning meditating, trying to gather my chakra so that I could expel it in a disguise.

"I don't think I can do it Kakashi." I whimpered under my breath.

"You'll be fine. It's a simple henge, even Academy drop outs can do it."

"Yeah, but they're all older than me, with more training. And don't say that you can do it and we're similar ages, you're a prodigy, I'm just...me." I shrugged as I looked down, away from Kakashi.

"Just breath and give it a go. The worst that can happen is that it doesn't work and we just continue as before."

"Okay." I took a deep breath in and began to concentrate on my chakra.

With each breath in I imagined my chakra pool, and with each exhale I tried to shift it slightly. To me, my chakra felt like the air before a storm, humid and sticky but brimming with energy. I wondered it this linked to its elemental nature, Kakashi and I hadn't covered elemental chakra in my lessons as it wouldn't ever be relevant to me if I didn't want to become a kunoichi.

Inhale.

Feel the chakra, buzzing with energy.

Exhale.

Move the chakra, swirl it around.

Inhale.

Feel the energy, feel the tingle in my fingers.

Exhale.

Get the chakra into position.

Inhale.

Make my hands form the signs.

Exhale.

Push the chakra.

Inhale.

"Henge no Jutsu!"

Exhale.

Choke on the pain the floods my body.

Inhale.

Look at Kakashi, he's panicking, why? Why me? Again?

Exhale.

Black.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Kakashi didn't know what happened. Sayuri was just doing a basic jutsu, she looked like every other kid in his class whilst she did it, just smaller. Then suddenly she seemed to spark or crackle, and then she was on the ground. Her voice was inhuman, it was so loud, so haunting. She was screaming. No words, just horrific screams. Sayuri's eyes were open so wide, but Kakashi could only see the whites of her eyes. She was convulsing and all he could do was stare on in horror. There was no one else in the house, he knew he had to go get help, but he couldn't leave Sayuri seizing on the floor.

Her convulsing body managed to knock the table, sending their cups clattering to the ground. Kakashi could only continue staring in his growing horror he watched Sayuri struggle to breathe. Fear bolted Kakashi to the spot. He could feel his legs trembling as he watched his only friend fighting to survive after what should have been a simple justu that nearly every active shinobi was capable of using.

Then she started bleeding from her eyes, ears and nose. Kakashi bolted from his house unsure he should be heading to the hospital or to where other shinobi were most likely to be. His decision didn't matter in the end as he collided head first with someone. He didn't take the time to look at the other shinobi, he just grabbed him by the sleeve and dragged him towards his house, trying to explain what had happened. The older shinobi seemed to have grasped the situation as he sped on ahead in a yellow flash.

Once the unknown shinobi took Sayuri Kakashi's hands started to shake, clenched in fists, tears escaping from his dark grey eyes. A keening sound left his throat as he fell to his knees. Finally able to _breathe._ He was scared, he didn't know what happened. All he knew that his friend, his closest and really _only_ friend was most likely in the hospital and would probably never want to see him again. If she even survived whatever it was that happened.

* * *

Jirou was in shock. There was a shinobi he didn't know on his doorstep, telling him that his daughter, that last he knew was safely with her friend at his home, was in hospital having suffered from severe seizures and was currently unresponsive. He felt sick. His little girl, his sweet little princess. Jirou didn't even wait for the shinobi before he took off at a sprint towards the hospital. He was barely passed the front gate when the shinobi caught up and took him to the hospital. Once inside everything felt like it was happening at the speed of light, but also as if time had paused entirely.

The hospital seemed colder than it ever had before, a sense of dread hanging over Jirou, wondering what he would tell Hanae when she came home. What he would tell Ichirou? Sakumo? Time seemed to stop or stretch on for hours. Either way, it dragged on painfully. Each second caused Jirou to suffer more from nausea, he couldn't bring himself to even drink water from the cup that had been handed to him.

Jirou didn't look up when someone sat next to him. He recognised the small form of Kakashi Hatake, Jirou couldn't bring himself to even look at or be angry at the boy, so exhausted by his worry. The silence was both comforting and oppressing. Jirou couldn't move, could barely blink, other people entered the hospital, people visiting, people having check-ups. Ninja being rushed in for surgeries.

After what felt like eternity, Jirou acknowledged the young boy beside him. Kakashi looked just as distressed and exhausted as Jirou felt. Kakashi was shaking in his seat, unable to focus on anything. Jirou knew that the Hatake bloodline had heightened senses, so places like hospitals, where there was a lot of different sounds, a blind light and an over powering smell, were a special kind of personal hell for the boy. Jirou also noted to himself that other clans, like the Inuzuka, also suffered whilst in the hospital. Kakashi had a red face, well at least he had red eyes from what Jirou could see, and he seemed paler than usual.

"Family of Sayuri Akiyama?" A doctor called out. Jirou jumped up from his seat and was quickly followed by Kakashi. "Relations?"

"I'm her father," Jirou responded breathlessly.

"I'm her…her friend." Kakashi was less sure. The doctor glanced down at Kakashi dubiously but nodded in acceptance.

"She's alive. She's breathing on her own. Can we asked what happened, the ninja that brought her in didn't explain it to us? All we know is that Miss Akiyama was in the midst of severe seizure, suffering from bleeding in several facial orifices. Our results showed that the seizures were caused by an ongoing electrical pulse to her brain, the bleeding was the result of built-up pressure in the brain."

Jirou felt sick listening to the diagnosis. His little lily had been suffering badly. He turned to Kakashi, his eyes demanding an explanation.

"I…we… she wanted to know how to do the transformation jutsu. I…I showed her. It's meant to be easy. I learnt it in the academy." Kakashi was a stuttering and shaking mess as he replied. The doctor glared a bit at the boy but her eyes softened slightly when it was clear that Kakashi was on the brink of tears.

"If this is a chakra related injury then her ongoing condition would make sense." The doctor nodded to herself before turning to a nearby nurse and said something to him that made the nurse run off in the direction the doctor had come from.

"Ongoing condition, Doctor?" Jirou asked, already fearing the worst.

"Akiyama-san seemed to have had experienced chakra backlash, it is uncommon but it can happen in underdeveloped systems, it's why civilian children aren't encouraged to activate their chakra systems until they enter the Academy. Fortunately, her main coil is relatively intact, but her tenketsu are badly damaged, and her pathways have been fried raw. She will still be able to live a normal and healthy life, but I would strongly advise against allowing her to become a ninja. Looking at how her chakra system has developed it was likely that this would have happened to her anyway, it's actually better that this happened now, while she's so young, it gives her body chance to adapt and recover. If she had been older it was possible that her coils would have been damaged as well.

The damage has had some unexpected side effects though. Apparently, Akiyama-san is predominately lightning chakra natured, if she had been able to develop her chakra system properly. While trying to help her Akiyama-san literally shocked a couple of the healers. Her skin seems to be able to give off small amounts of lightning release through contact, nothing lethal, yet. Until we can identify where the specific issue lies we will have to restrict the amount of physical contact she has, to prevent any injuries to herself or others."

The doctor then instructed for Jirou and Kakashi to follow her to Sayuri's room, Jirou wasn't sure what he was to do with all the information the doctor had given him. It sounded as if pure luck had prevented Sayuri from accidentally killing herself with something that should have been fairly simple for her considering who her mother was.

They eventually stopped outside a closed door, Jirou noted that the door was labelled with the patients names, and there it was 'Akiyama Sayuri' in clear writing on the door. Jirou felt sick. As if seeing her name in writing made the situation more real than it previously had been.

"I would like you to know that Akiyama-san is currently unconscious, we had to sedate her as she was becoming more violent once we had managed to stop her seizing. We expect her to wake up some time early tomorrow. Please keep volume to a reasonable level so as not to disturb Akiyama-san." The doctor looked at the two of them before opening to door to let them into the room where Sayuri lay sleeping in a hospital bed. "I will remind you to not touch Akiyama-san, she is in a delicate state and we have not determined to cause of her electric shocks. If you need any assistance, or is she begins to wake, please fetch a nurse." And with that they entered the room, and waited.

Ichirou Akiyama came by shortly after midnight, having arrived at the hospital as soon as he could, he sat in the room next to Jirou for a while, before he forced Jirou to leave for the night, but Kakashi stayed. There was no one to force him home, Sakumo wasn't in Village to be worried about him. He stayed in the corner of the room. Alone with his thoughts in the dark of night. Kakashi didn't sleep, he just sat in the hospital chair, oblivious to the nurses and doctors that came in to check on Sayuri.

When the sun began to rise did Sayuri finally stir. It was a slow process, her face creased up first, she turned her face away from the window. Kakashi moved closer and went to reach out to hold her hand when her remembered what the doctor had said and moved back to his chair. Then he thought about it again and went to the door to grab the attention of a nurse, Kakashi didn't know what state Sayuri would be in, and it was possible that she would need medical attention more than she would need friendly comfort in that moment.

* * *

It was strange, waking up in the hospital. The last I remembered I was at Kakashi's house where I was attempting a transformation for the first time, after having been studying it for nearly 3 months. The nurses had been in and out of the room I was in, checking my vitals, asking me questions about how I was feeling. A doctor had come by to ask me some in depth questions in regards to my health, and what had happened, what I remembered.

Kakashi was there next to me the whole time, and for that I was grateful.

We didn't talk, but he sat next to me, as if he was just patiently waiting for something.

Tou-san arrived shortly after I woke up, and he was filling the silence, talking to nurses or doctors, or to Ichirou-Oji. He was talking about everything and nothing, and I was learning more about our trading partners than I had ever expected to know at this age.

My diagnosis was the only topic that Tou-san didn't want to talk about. The doctor said that I had suffered from a seizure caused by a sudden influx of chakra to the brain. The chakra influx was caused by malformed tenketsu, which prevented my chakra from exiting my body in the way that it was meant to. The fact that I was young meant that it was unlikely to have a large negative impact on me so long as I wished to remain a civilian.

The side-effect of my condition was that, until I learnt to control it, my chakra would now actively move around my body and was likely to build up in areas that were the most malformed, such as; my eyes, hands, feet, and spine. Otherwise known as the areas with the most tenketsu. These build-ups were mostly harmless, but much like when people click bones to release pressure between the joints, the chakra had to go somewhere, which resulted in small electrical bursts. They were mostly harmless, but even small shocks can kill if in the wrong place, so until I had gone through chakra therapy I wasn't allowed to touch anyone.

There was also the concern that whenever I got emotional, my chakra reacted, turning me from a normal little girl into a small ball of lightning. Even mild emotional fluxes could create tiny storm clouds due to the dramatic change in the air pressure around me.

Fun.

Tou-san seemed to know something about why my tenketsu were malformed, I could tell in the way he didn't talk about it, but even more in the way he wasn't shocked when the doctor said that they were the cause of it all. I knew I would have to ask him about it later, but I was more concerned with how distant Kakashi was acting, even with the no touching rule in place.

He hadn't said anything to me since I woke up, he nodded or shook his head, but no words had actually left his mouth. He hadn't responded to anything Tou-san or Ichi-Oji had said, the nurses just ghosted passed him without Kakashi even acknowledging their existence. While the doctor had been talking about my diagnosis Kakashi seemed to curl in on himself, making his already small self, seem even smaller.

I made a mental note that I had to talk to Kakashi later and ask him about what was upsetting him enough that he didn't even want to talk to me. But until then, I turned back to the nurses that were talking to Tou-san about the routines I would need to follow and when I would be expected at the hospital for chakra therapy.

* * *

It's early August when I am released from the hospital. Okaa-san was waiting for me at home as she wasn't comfortable at the hospital, and having now been stuck there for a while I could see why. Kakashi hadn't visited me on his own since I first woke up, always arriving with Sakumo or Tou-san, which made trying to confront him about his avoidance of me hard.

It was nice to have Okaa-san around the house. Since the last time I saw her she was making an effort to really get to know me. While Tou-san was stuck in council meetings Okaa-san would spend the day with me. I was still on restricted activity until I was cleared by my therapist, as too much physical activity was likely to rile me up the same way emotional stress would. I didn't mind much, but I could now fully understand why Ichirou-Oji was frustrated that there wasn't anywhere to go when resting up between missions. I was a civilian and I was bored of not having somewhere to go to just waste my time.

But instead I got to learn about my Okaa-san, I learnt that she preferred green tea over any other kind of tea, but she would always go for a chocolate drink if it was an option. At least I had a valid excuse for my sweet tooth that seemed to travel with me across lifetimes. I also found out that Okaa-san found brushing hair relaxing, was an awful cook, and should never be trusted to clean anything more complicated than a katana. She learnt about me that I love to have my hair brushed, I was a surprisingly good cook for my young age, and I should never be trusted to clean full stop.

I also learnt more about Okaa-sans life as an Uchiha. Only three years older than Mikoto Uchiha they were raised together, turns out they were cousins, their mothers were sisters. Okaa-san told me about the brutal training regime she was brought up through, and how she was glad that I wasn't born into the Uchiha clan as she liked that there was something inherently kind about the way I interacted with people.

Then I learnt about the long running hatred that Okaa-san had towards the Uchiha clan, and how she would rather die than see me taken in by them. It started when Okaa-san was young. We were sat on the garden porch enjoying summer sun when I brought up to topic of Okaa-san animosity towards her clan.

"I didn't always dislike my family, I was brought up happy enough, even if I was trained more than I played, but the Uchiha clan has had a hard history that we don't forget. I was raised with my cousin Mikoto, as her mother, my aunt, had passed away giving birth to her. I treated her like a sister, made sure she was looked after. I even encouraged her to strike out on her own when the opportunity for a different friendship came up.

But when Fugaku turned eighteen the clan elders decided it was time for a bride to be chosen for him. I grew up alongside Fugaku, he is only a few years older than me, we went to the Academy together, I thought I was the obvious choice. And I was, but so was Mikoto. Fugaku didn't care, he knew both of us, thought that either of us would do fine as his wife, so it came down to the elders. Mikoto and I were put through a series of challenges; to test our speed, our strength, our intelligence. To basically see who would produce the strongest heir. We both had our sharingan. Mine already had its third tomoe, Mikoto only had two, but, as she was younger, we were considered equal matches. The only difference _was_ that Mikoto was younger. When I was fourteen it was decided that Mikoto would be engaged to Fugaku, to become the next wife of the head of the clan. She was only eleven. They were to be married once she turned sixteen."

Okaa-san began to run her hand through my hair as she paused to think what she was going to say next. I was glad Tou-san wasn't here for this conversation, he has a tendency to divert to conversation to how he and Okaa-san met whenever I try and ask about her history with the Uchiha clan.

"I continued my kunoichi career, got promoted into the Infiltration Division, so I spent a lot of time away from Konoha, my work was invaluable during lead up to the war, my division helped map out the movements of enemy and allowed us to create counter-attacks. After Mikoto was chosen to become Fugaku's wife I threw myself into my work and was gone more than I was home. I used to travel with a lot of merchant groups to help cover my movements, that was how I met your father. I was going to Suna to gather information about some suspicious movements we had caught wind of. Your father was going to Suna to talk about trade and was expected to stay there for several months, which was the perfect cover for me."

I loved hearing Tou-sans side of this story, of how he was so taken with this strong, beautiful kunoichi, who had been so cold to him to start with, but after being stuck together for both travel and their time in Suna, being able to talk to each other and getting to know each other, they started to develop feelings for each other. Tou-san would wax poetic about how beautiful he found Okaa-san, how he found her strength a little bit intimidating, but was more impressed with her for it all the same. It always seemed like a fairy tale story, of the prince and his knight.

"When we returned your Tou-san petitioned to the Uchiha council for the right to court me. Normally he would have gone to my Otou-san, but by then he had been dead for several years. But he was denied, he was refused to right to court me for a month before I went back to the council myself to ask why he wasn't allowed to court me. Apparently Mikoto had chosen me to be her personal guard, which would have prohibited me from marrying or having children of my own. She probably thought she was doing me an honour, but it wasn't what I wanted in life, Mikoto knew I had dreams of a family of my own one day, I felt betrayed. I had to tell Mikoto that I wouldn't be her guard, she begged me to reconsider, but she couldn't understand she was trying to control me, trying to take away my happiness.

"I continued to see your father in secret. We went on dates, had secret rendezvous. He did everything he could to make me happy. He continued to petition the council. Tried to convince Mikoto to release me from the role she was trying to force me into. We were together for less than a year before we had to be open about our relationship." At this Okaa-san smirked down at me, her eyes shining with hidden mirth.

"Turns out I was pregnant with you. When Jirou found out he was ecstatic, it was a challenge to stop him from shouting about you from the rooftops. The council, however, were less than pleased. The Uchiha Elders ordered me to get rid of you. They told me that I was a disgrace, that I was dishonouring the clan for loving your father. My achievements as a kunoichi meant nothing to them." She sighed. "I refused, and I began to make plans to be legally emancipated from the clan. While I packed, Mikoto found me. I was led to believe she understood, that she wanted me to be happy and have a family. I believed her, she helped me pack, brought me tea so that we could say goodbye. I had drank half a cup before I recognised that something was wrong with the tea. Mikoto, my cousin, the little girl I saw as a sister, had poisoned me. Had tried to kill you, Sayuri-chan, before you were ever born. And she nearly succeeded."

By this point Okaa-san had brought me over to her in a deep embrace, wrapping her arms around me tight enough to convince her that I wasn't going anywhere. I could feel her crying into my hair, but beyond the feeling of her chest shuttering I wouldn't have been able to tell. Turns out Okaa-san is a silent crier.

It took several minutes for Okaa-san to pull herself together. To calm her crying. She slowly pulled away from me and wiped her eyes, before wrapping her arm around my shoulders so that she could play with a piece of my hair while I leant into her. It took her a while longer before she continued with the story.

"I left once I realised what Mikoto had done. I found your father waiting for me outside the main house and we went straight to the hospital. The poison failed, obviously." She huffed a laugh. "I was pulled from active duty, I didn't even see war until you were six months old. Your father married me as soon as I would agree, and I haven't talked to any Uchiha outside of missions since. At the time we didn't know what the poison would do to you. At worst we expected you to be still-born, but then you were born this happy, healthy baby, and all our fears dissipated. You're smarter than children your age, but then so is the Hatake kid, you just seem to understand the world a bit more than he does. Your Tou-san kept an eye on your development in case we missed anything, and made sure you were with someone at all times.

"I know I'm not around much for you baby. But I love you so much, and I work hard to try and make it a better place for you. And I'm so angry that my actions when I was younger has caused you pain. If I could I would go back and stop any of it from happening, as long as it meant that I still got to have you. When I heard the doctor say that you were born with your condition, I knew, I _knew,_ what had caused it, and I don't think I can ever forgive Mikoto or the Uchiha's for it."

Listening to her go on I bucked up the courage to finally interrupt her and ask.

"Are you sad that I can't be a ninja like you?"

"I'm happy that you're you. I'm happy that I ever got to hold you, and that I'm getting to see you grow up into a beautiful young girl. My, too smart for her own good, and far too good at hiding it for my peace of mind, daughter. One day you'll walk into the Clans Council meeting and make everyone listen. You'll be the most powerful civilian that Konoha has ever seen. You might be your Tou-sans little lily, but you are _my_ Lily of the Valley."

"I love you too Okaa-san."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

There hadn't been chance to catch-up with Kakashi since I had been released from the hospital, partly due to him never being around and partly because I had started my chakra therapy, which included, but wasn't limited to; meditation, sensing chakra, and trying to actively hide my chakra by drawing it inwards. It seemed easy to do until I actually had to do it. I kept letting go of my control and bolts of lightning would escape me, I couldn't begin to describe the damage I had done to the room I had my therapy in.

It was hard to keep control when there were times I couldn't even feel. I just felt like there was this hole in my soul that attempted to swallow me whole. I had days that I wished that Kakashi was there with me, even if was to just sit there in silence next to me, but then there were other days where I wouldn't want to inflict myself upon anyone. I think Okaa-san was picking up on the fact that there were days where I couldn't get out of bed for now physical reason. She didn't push me, but I could see the concern on her face each time I struggled to go about my daily routines. Okaa-san did her best to keep this part of me hidden from Tou-san, I might have been her 'lily-of-the-valley' but I was his 'Little Lily'.

Tou-san was swamped with council meetings and café work, seems the café was more popular, and profitable, than originally expected. Our clan council were more than pleased with the current progress with the café, and were looking into getting more land, near, but outside of Konoha to see if it will be worth creating a small chain of cafes and restaurants to reduce the costs of feeding our travelling merchants. Also creating a chain of eateries between our future farms and trading locations, such as Suna, would also make the farms more profitable, according to Tou-san.

Since it was clear that I couldn't become a shinobi, I had been introduced to some of the elders of the clan. There was Elder Yuuto, he was the oldest surviving member of the Akiyama clan, he looked it too. Withered over himself, barely able to stand and more loose skin than actual body. But he was smart, it showed in the gleam in his eye, and the way he assessed me upon our first meeting. It had been a good day for me, so I was able to actually interact with the old man, listening to him appraise me. Tou-san had gone on about the future plans for me, I was to attend the civilian school once I turned five, and begin my tutoring in trading, marketing and everything else I would need to know to become the head of a merchant clan.

This mixed in with Okaa-san taking over my etiquette training had taken over most of my time. Okaa-san was probably the best person to start teaching me etiquette, she knew what needed to be done in nearly any scenario, and she herself was trained in various manners so that she could train me to handle anything. I learnt about table etiquette, flower arrangement, and was beginning to learn how to handle a fan for dancing.

My days were pretty set, in the mornings, I struggled to get out of bed and washed, then I would start meditation as part of my therapy, then I would move on to meeting and having lunch with Elder Yuuto, while his carer would teach me various cooking skills that I hadn't learnt before. After lunch I would stay with Elder Yuuto while Okaa-san would work on my etiquette, including learning to sit in the seiza position for as long as possible without shifting or fidgeting. In the late afternoon I would go back to the hospital, for more chakra therapy, before coming home for the evening where I tried to spend as much time as possible with Tou-san before going to bed.

And every day I spent time looking in a mirror, trying to become familiar with my own face, and questioning if there was a Sayuri Akiyama before me. Did I take her place? Or was she simply never born? But every time I looked in the mirror I saw a stranger looking back at me, I knew I was an adult in my mind, but there was a child looking back at me. None of her features were mine. My hair used to be a rich, mahogany brown, I was a tall girl, even as a child I had been tall. But now I see light, hazel hair, entwined with streaks of blonde, my body is small, and thin. I never used to be thin, I was proud of my shape and curves, each roll was a memory. My earthy brown eyes are now black, my hair didn't wave and curl anymore. I didn't have my scars, my new skin no longer perfect, but my scars weren't right.

The person in the mirror simply wasn't me. And the feeling of wrongness made it hard to look in a mirror for long.

This was the routine for six weeks, until mid-September, Sakumo invited us all over to celebrate Kakashi's birthday, and to congratulate Kakashi on finally being assigned a jonin sensei. In the back of my mind I knew who the sensei was, but it seemed so far away, like a distant dream. During this time at home I had taken up writing, practicing what I could remember of my language from Before whilst also trying to write down what I could of the original timeline from the show. With all the annotations that came with adding information as you remember it. There were also drawings of anything I thought was important, sometimes connected to other notes, but generally they were on their own.

Kakashi came up a lot in my notes, I noted about him being Minato Namikaze's apprentice, about his time on Team Seven, and its tragic end. I couldn't remember what happened to the girl, or even her name, but I knew that her death led to the escalation of events that resulted in Minato and Kushina being killed. I also wrote down my vague memories about what happened between Minato's death and Kakashi being the sensei of the next Team Seven. I knew he was an ANBU, and was recruited for ROOT, and that he met Tenzo/Yamato during this time at some point.

The last six weeks had been the longest that I hadn't seen Kakashi, even Sakumo had been by to visit me and compliment me on my developing skills as a head of a clan. Sakumo had been a great support during this time, turns out that the Hatake clan was famous for their lightning nature, and had given me his own tips and tricks to help me manage my new condition. There were some days I felt that glad that I didn't see Kakashi, he must have hated me, I couldn't even do a simple jutsu without traumatising him. Sakumo tried to reassure me that Kakashi was just busy, but I knew that Kakashi just didn't want to see me.

I tried my best to get a good gift for his birthday, something that would remind Kakashi that I was a good friend to him. I didn't want to get him shinobi gear necessarily, as I didn't want to remind him of how much of a failure I was, but I knew that Kakashi didn't have many interests outside of his shinobi career. Maybe something for his pack, when he gets them. Or possibly a plant, I remembered that Kakashi had a plant that he liked, he even named it.

I'd figure it out, and then Kakashi would forgive me, and we could be proper friends again.

* * *

I didn't see Kakashi, he ended up being called away for his own celebration party for a mission, I couldn't imagine what was so important that it couldn't wait a day, but I knew that shinobi could be called away for anything on short notice. In the end I had gotten Kakashi a photo album, it was a nice one with a frame on the front that I had put a photo of me and Kakashi from one of the times I had stayed with the Hatake's. Sakumo had told me later that Kakashi seemed to appreciate it, but I instantly started to regret giving Kakashi the album, a kunai maintenance set would have definitely been better.

I didn't see Kakashi several months later at my birthday, but then turning four wasn't a big deal in the civilian population, so why would it be important to an active shinobi like Kakashi. Okaa-san wasn't there either, having been sent back out to work in late September. At least I knew she loved me and was only away due to her commitment to her work. Tou-san started introducing me to more clan members so that they could take over care duty, since he was busier now with meeting farmers, spice traders and looking into the status of the mines.

So, I spent most of my days looked after by strangers, going through my daily routine. Elder Yuuto was usually the highlight of my day. He always had something interesting to talk about. Elder Yuuto had once been the head of the clan but had passed the mantle to my Ojii-sama, who in turn passed it on to my Tou-san. Elder Yuuto seemed to know I was depressed, he never addressed it properly, but he talked to me like an adult, and didn't avoid addressing other things that no other adult would. I also met with Elder Takuya, who used to be head of mining. Elder Takuya had also treated me like a small adult rather than a young child, which meant that on days where I didn't want to be around my assigned guardian for the day I went to one of the elder's homes to stay instead.

I was released from therapy nearly a year after I was first admitted. I had seen Kakashi only in passing, he never stopped to chat, and he hadn't been by to see me either. I tried to get along with the children of the various clan members I got to meet, but most of the other children were a lot older than me, and despite my mental maturity compared to them, they still didn't want to be seen hanging around a four-year-old. I wasn't old enough to go to school yet, so I was very much on my own.

* * *

Kakashi was pleased with himself. He was getting into the full swing of working as a shinobi. His sensei, while young, was clever and resourceful, and taught Kakashi a range of skills. They hadn't seen any major combat in the year they had been working together, but they had fought enough bandits together to know each other's fighting style and be comfortable if they ever had to fight together. He knew that he had been busy with his new training and work, but he hadn't realised how little he had been around until he saw Sayuri for the first time in months.

She had gotten taller, was the first thing he had noticed, while still small, as expected of a child, she was clearly taller than when he had last seen her. Her hair was also longer and being held back in a low pony-tail instead of the braid he was used to seeing. But the biggest change was in her eyes. Sayuri always had dark eyes, and that hadn't changed, but before her eyes had held life and an inner lightness that Kakashi had always appreciated, now, however, her eyes were dull. Kakashi was reminded of his concerns about his friend's health from before her accident. Then a flash of guilt ran through him, remembering her seizing on the floor when he tried to teach her what should have been a simple jutsu.

Kakashi didn't want to admit that he was avoiding his friend, but now that he was facing her for the first time in nearly a year, he had to acknowledge that he hadn't made any effort to see his only friend. He knew that his father had been by to check on Sayuri, and had had given Kakashi updates, but he hadn't told Kakashi how Sayuri seemed to be withdrawn in herself. He thought of the photo that graced the front of the album he got, she was smiling brightly next to him, eyes sparkling and showing off her teeth. The Sayuri in front of Kakashi was not the same girl from that photo.

He ran in to Sayuri on a day off, Minato-sensei had told Kakashi to not bother training, telling him that too much training could do damage since Kakashi was still young. He had been wandering around the Village, just wasting time when he saw Sayuri walking through the market with who he assumed to be a clan member. She wasn't chatting away, nor was she particularly looking at anything either.

Deciding that spending the rest of the day with Sayuri was infinitely better than just wasting the day he went up to her. The shock on her face when he came up to her sent a bolt of hurt to his heart. He asked if she wanted to hang out at his house, the reluctance on her face was mixed with some kind of desperate hope that Kakashi couldn't fathom. She looked up at her guardian who nodded and then Sayuri slowly moved over to Kakashi's side. They headed off the Hatake household, Kakashi waited for Sayuri to start talking, but she didn't.

Once at the house Kakashi thought that Sayuri would brighten up and start to babble like he thought she would. But still she remained silent. They sat in the main room together in silence and remained like that for a while before Kakashi decided to break it.

"How have you been Sayuri-chan? Been doing anything interesting?" Kakashi asked awkwardly. Internally cringing as Sayuri spooked at the sudden sound.

"I… erm… I've been released from chakra therapy. I've been given a range of strategies to help me manage my chakra so that I shouldn't have random bouts electricity which could hurt others. I've also been meeting with my clan's elders. They are really nice." Sayuri's voice was soft, and she didn't look at Kakashi in the eye. Her finger tapped against her opposite arm.

"Well, that's great right?" Kakashi tried desperately to get a reaction from the girl opposite him.

"I guess." She shrugged. "How are you? You've been busy lately, I haven't seen you around the Village lately."

"Yes. I've been working with Minato-sensei, he has been teaching me lots of things. I been working on my chakra control, but you could probably beat me in chakra control if your therapy has been going well." Kakashi tried to joke. "I've also learnt new jutsu and have been doing lots of missions. I even got to see Otou-san on a mission once. He's promised to help me train my new pack soon, so you'll get to meet them. Do you like dogs?"

"I do." Sayuri visibly brightened at the mention of the pack. Kakashi made a mental note to definitely introduce Sayuri to his pack once they were settled. "I think when I'm older I might ask Tou-san if I could get a dog, it wouldn't be a nin-ken, but it would still be a good companion to have." Sayuri smiled wistfully at her imaginary future dog.

"I'll get Otou-san to introduce you to his pack. You'll love it. His beta, Asuka is this beautiful wolfhound, she's long and sleek, and fast. She's fast like the wind. And smart too. Apparently, her lineage comes from Kumo, but they are rare there now too."

"She sounds lovely."

"Are you alright Sayuri? You're not acting like yourself." Kakashi decided to address the problem head-on.

* * *

I looked up at Kakashi. I could feel the urge to tell him, to tell him about who I was Before. I could feel the need to share the burden of my knowledge with someone. But Kakashi was only six, even if he was much more mature mentally. He was a child. How could I dare even think of burdening a child, one that I knew to have a hard future ahead of them, with the knowledge that, at my core, I was a liar.

I could feel my eyes watering up as it all became too much. I could imagine the knowing eyes of the elders and Okaa-san on me, judging me for never admitting the truth. But I was only four, only cognitive for the last two years, but two years is a long time to keep a secret, and Kakashi was my only friend here, and I had been lying to him the entire time I knew him. How could I call myself his friend?

Trying to open my mouth I choked on a breath, finally letting tears fall from my eyes. Kakashi moved next to me as I curled in on myself, my small body feeling restrictive and claustrophobic. My hands weren't my hands, I didn't cry the same way, my hair wasn't black. It was all wrong. And I couldn't fix it.

* * *

Kakashi watched as Sayuri curled into a small ball and sobbed. Her cries were quiet, and very clearly being controlled. He could feel her chakra flowing around her body, acting as if desperately seeking an escape. Thankfully Sayuri seemed to keep herself in check as she didn't have any electrical bursts, but Kakashi could tell that it was a close thing.

He didn't know that his question would set her off like this, but it did make him acknowledge that he hadn't talked to her in nearly a year, and Sayuri was clearly suffering for it. Kakashi felt awful as he watched Sayuri calm herself, he didn't know anything about what she had to do to not be a danger to herself or others. He didn't know what she had been through during the last year. He didn't know what could have caused her to become so distraught.

After several minutes Sayuri had calmed herself, and then she made a move to get up, causing Kakashi to bolt up to prevent her.

"Where are you going? I'm sorry I made you cry, don't leave."

"I'm sorry." She whispered, her voice husky from crying. "I think it's best if I leave. I won't bother you again." Sayuri tried to sidestep Kakashi, but he wouldn't have it and grabbed her arm, forcing her to stay where she was.

"You're not leaving until we talked about this. You've said before that you're my friend. Well I want to be your friend too, and friends are meant to look after each other. You just started crying for no obvious reason and now you want to leave." Kakashi shook his head and forced Sayuri to sit down again.

"You wouldn't believe me even if I told you. And then you would leave anyway, so this is the best way to go." She sounded so sure of the end result that Kakashi was almost tempted to believe her and pretend her crying never happened, but he knew better, and he knew that to be a friend he had to persevere.

"Try me. If I don't believe you then I won't ever bring it up again." Sayuri looked at Kakashi as if trying to judge his honesty. There was a pause while she contemplated her response.

"Do you believe in reincarnation Kakashi? The idea that after you die you could be forced back into the living world. That the memories of a previous life could haunt you, make you ache for a world, a time you can't return to. I can remember it all. I can remember dying. What I wanted to do with my life, my dreams, my nightmares, my hopes, my fears. I can remember my family, my friends."

Of all the things Kakashi expected Sayuri to say, that wasn't one of them.

"Can…erm… can you tell me more? About…you?" He hesitantly asked, unsure how much he should believe.

"I was one of three children. I had an older brother and a younger sister. My older brother was like you, a genius. He was smarter than I could ever hope to be, but he was a complete braggart, he'd lord it over me how much smarter than me he was. I used to ask him all the stupid questions I could just to annoy him. He worked for the government and was trying to get into the military, but I think he would have been happy with the job he had. But he could have been anything he wanted.

"My little sister was a special sort, she didn't want to be like my brother or I, but she was, in her own way. Sharp with a mean streak a mile wide and tongue as sharp as razors. She was going into psychology, I wonder what she would make of me now. She was athletic too, she'd make an excellent kunoichi, ruthless and aggressive, she'd be a front-line fighter, she'd accept nothing less. My brother would aim to be jonin commander if he was here, and he'd be a great one too, thinking twenty steps ahead of the enemy." Sayuri gave a joyless laugh that caused Kakashi to wince. He could hear the self-deprecation that was going unsaid between her words, but he didn't know how to address them with Sayuri turning the conversation to him instead.

"My Mum, my Kaa-chan, she had a sharp mind, quick wit and an eye for weakness. She was the kind of woman I aspired to be, she didn't let people take the better of her, but she was never cruel to me or my siblings. But I was like her in a way I that she never truly liked, shy, and quiet, to myself. Hoarding my every secret and issue like it was a treasure I had to keep. She saw this and tried her best to help me, but it was my Dad who knew how to reach me." Sayuri had to pause, her throat was dry and scratchy. Kakashi handed her a drink, wondering where Jirou was.

"My Dad, Tou-chan, was a great man. He knew when to tell me jokes, or to be serious with me. He hugged me when I cried and petted my hair when I just didn't want to talk. He used to tell me what I needed to hear and repeat it every time I forgot. A smart man who could think of a million ways to tell me something." Sayuri was crying now, not the fat sobs that landed her in the hospital, but silent tears that escaped her control. "I can still remember that on long drives we used to talk about anything and everything. He used to tell me about his life, he wrote me his stories. I'll never get to see how that story ends. I might end up a part of it, and I'll never get to know.

"Kakashi, I miss them. I miss my family. I miss the life I used to have. I miss the arguing and the bickering. I miss my brother teasing me and my sister. And I regret, Kakashi I regret so much." Sayuri finally stopped talking, but she continued to cry, and Kakashi sat there, silent, unsure, taking in everything. It was a lot for the six-year-old to take in, but there was a reason he was a genius, it didn't make perfect sense, and would require some research to confirm her claim, but her story wasn't impossible.

"What was your name? Back then I mean?" Kakashi asked the least traumatising question he could think of.

"Azalea, I used to called Azalea Diana Forrester." Sayuri paused. "I died a month before my twenty-seventh birthday. I wasn't a soldier, I wasn't living in a war-torn country. I was listening to rally. That was all. And I died Kakashi. And now I'm Sayuri Akiyama." Sayuri restarted crying in earnest.

Kakashi moved to sit closer to Sayuri and wrapped an arm around her and let her continue to cry. Deciding that he'd tackle the issue in the morning, but for right now, Sayuri just needed him there for her to cry on, and he could do that. It was after all the least he could do for his only friend.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

The day after Sayuri's reveal Kakashi's head was still spinning. He had Sayuri stay the night with him at his house, worried about her emotional state, and hoping that she might talk more about what she had said, possibly give more details for Kakashi to look in to, to either confirm or dismiss her claims. Kakashi knew better than to actually push Sayuri into talking, and was forever grateful that his father was away on a mission for that night, allowing Sayuri to settle and talk at her own pace.

Sayuri had eventually given in with only a bit of prompting, she talked more about the world that she could remember. Kakashi couldn't believe the differences in the lifestyles Sayuri was talking about, the lack of chakra and how it gave way for more developments in science and technology. When Kakashi pushed about Sayuri's knowledge in those areas she said that she knew enough that she could explain them to children, apparently, she used to be a teacher, but she had no way to truly recreate the experiments that proved the theories behind the science. At best she could describe some of the initial tests that were used to find the answers to some fundamental questions, like the speed of light, the size of the planet, and how to prove the existence of germs and bacteria.

Kakashi went to the library, he couldn't believe everything Sayuri said at face value. The idea of reincarnation seemed a bit much, but she had known so much about this 'Azalea', about her life, her family, about the world she grew up in. There had to be more information about it somewhere, and the Village library was the best place to start. The lady behind the desk gave Kakashi a sceptical glance when he asked for books and scrolls on the matter.

With reading material in hand Kakashi went to researching, a couple of the books were useless, just saying that reincarnation might be possible but highly unlikely, and there would be no way of knowing. One scroll held a theory that since chakra didn't really every go away, it was possible that a person may have the same chakra as someone else, but didn't say anything about their memories, just that some key traits might be handed down, but even then, it said reincarnation was only possible if the original person had a powerful or particularly unique chakra, but the world the Sayuri talked about was nothing like what he had known, she had said specifically that there was no chakra when she continued to talk later in the evening and there was no mention of anything that sounded like Sayuri's world in any history document he could find.

But Kakashi knew he couldn't devote too much of his time looking into the credibility of his friends' story, he would be back on missions and training full-time again soon. Minato-sensei had extended his rest break for personal reasons, and Kakashi had begun to suspect that his sensei had a romantic partner that he hadn't yet met. Kakashi spent the rest of the day in the library before he was greeted by a guest. A tall man sat opposite Kakashi, he looked at the books and scrolls that the boy had surrounded himself with and smirked.

"Looking to come back from the dead Little Scarecrow?" The man picked up one of the books and began flicking through it.

"Don't call me that Jiraiya, and no, it's something my friend said to me. It got me interested." Kakashi carried on with his books, ignoring the overdramatic aghast faced the Sannin pulled at being so casually disrespected by the six-year-old.

"So rude, Kakashi-kun. So, what did your friend say that's got you interested in all this? Sakumo never said anything about anyone he knows having an interest in these topics. And which friend? I didn't know you had a friend. It's not Dai Maito's boy is it?" Jiraiya shuddered at the memory of meeting the aforementioned man, his enthusiasm would be considered a weapon if it could be wielded properly.

"No, he's not my friend, it was Sayuri-chan. She told me last night. I think she's been aware of it for a while now and it has only been making her upset."

"Oh?" The Sannin had not met the young girl, but Sakumo had nothing but nice things to say about her. "What happened?"

"She said she died."

"Well obviously, if you're looking at these kinds of things." Jiraiya looked more closely at the books that Kakashi was studying. "Are you sure she isn't getting things confused? Your old man told me that she was in the hospital last year."

"No, she said she died before. Before she was Sayuri. I want to know if what she said was the truth or if she needs some help."

"Hmmm. Well these won't help," Jiraiya got up from the table and gestured for Kakashi to follow him "the Village doesn't really have a lot of information on that sort of thing, nearly no one does. The Nidaime probably had some of the most thorough information regarding death and reincarnation, but even he had admitted that there were simply things he didn't know." Jiraiya led them out of the library and off towards a more secluded training ground.

"But you do?"

"The toads do. They are probably the best source for any information about rebirth, reincarnation and prophecies. Your Otou-san would agree with me on that." They walked further, nearing an empty training ground. "What did your little friend tell you anyway?"

"She told me a lot about her family, she used to be close to them, I think she misses that. She also told me how she died."

"What happened?" So Kakashi repeated everything Sayuri told him at his house, about her life, her family and her death. He felt a bit bad, for telling Sayuri's secrets to someone she didn't know, but Kakashi knew that if anyone could confirm her story it would be the Sannin. They reached the training ground, Jiraiya went to one side and bite his thumb. "Summoning-no-jutsu!" And with a puff of smoke a toad appeared.

"Yes Jiraiya-chan?" The old toad, with bushy white eyebrows and a small beard, looked Jiraiya then at Kakashi "Who's the tadpole?"

"Pa, this is Kakashi-kun and he has a story you need to hear." Jiraiya looked at Kakashi and encouraged him to tell Sayuri's story again, he did so, looking curiously at the toad named Pa.

"Hmmm. An interesting story tadpole, but why am I here?"

"Is it possible Pa? Could this girl have been reborn?"

"Of course, it's possible Brat. It's just a matter of how long her soul has been waiting. Did she say where she was from?"

"No. But it didn't sound like anywhere I recognised."

"Is it possible to meet the girl? Ask her some questions?" The toad looked towards Kakashi, a glint of interest in his eye.

"Not right now. She's still at my house, but she's still very upset. I'm not sure she'd be willing to discuss what is basically her biggest secret with a couple of strangers" Kakashi frowned at the thought of Sayuri's reaction to his perceived betrayal. He winced slightly at the possibility that Sayuri might not ever trust him again if the Toad Sannin just showed up talking about her secret. "Maybe I can find a way to introduce you to her and then we can work up to it." Kakashi compromised, already thinking of reasonable scenarios in which he could get both Sayuri and Jiraiya in the same place and have them talk to each other.

Kakashi sighed as he thought about the amount of work ahead of him.

* * *

The night had been a taxing one on me. And while I was glad I had finally told someone the truth, it hadn't been a 'the truth will set you free' moment like I had hoped, rather it was more of a 'saying it out loud just cements it as the truth' kind of thing. My stomach clenched at the thought. A part of me held on to hope that this was all just a bad dream, that I was simply unconscious in a hospital somewhere, and that I would wake up. I didn't tell Kakashi about the Naruto anime or manga though, no, I kept that to myself. Truth was, I didn't want Kakashi to leave me if he thought that I was manipulating him. Which even if I tried to do I was pretty shitty at, so Kakashi had no real fears there anyway.

After my emotional conversation with Kakashi I had decided I didn't want to be alone, and I certainly didn't want to be home alone, so I headed to 'Brew-Tea-Ful' instead. I knew that at the café there would be a near constant stream of people, even if they didn't talk to me their presence would be enough to tide me over and hopefully overwhelm the feeling of loneliness that had seeped into my bones.

I had heard from Tou-san that the café had taken on a rolling contract for a genin team to help out with some of the heavier lifting that came with the café, so I was hoping for the chance to meet some other people nearer my physical age, as I had come to realise that, for some reason, children who trained to be shinobi tended to be more mature than their civilian counterparts, which meant I didn't feel like I was babysitting kids when interacting with my physical age groups.

I had theories that it was related to chakra, both its amount and usage.

It turns out that the team that was helping with the café was team Chouza, with his students being; Ebisu, Genma Shiranui, and Gai Maito. Meeting Gai for the first time was an…experience, to say the least. Already donning his vivid green jumpsuit with fluorescent legwarmers, I would have struggled to not have recognised him. That didn't stop him from introducing himself, loudly. After having literally burst into the café, scaring more than a few of the patrons and nearly getting impaled by a knife that Momo threw on instinct, Gai declared that he was ready to work.

After some time, nearly half-way through the assigned task I could estimate, Gai declared that after the mission he was going to seek out his 'cool' rival Kakashi and challenge him to some task or another. Deciding with a sigh that I didn't want to risk running into Gai outside of this current situation, I gave Gai a hint as to where Kakashi was likely to be.

It honestly had nothing to do with the near desperate looks Nanae was sending me, or the death glare Suzuki was giving Gai. How he didn't feel the killer intent coming off of her I'll never know.

"Kakashi was heading to the library when I saw him this morning Maito-san. I don't think he's still there, as he said he wanted to get back into his training routine after having had some time off." I told the excitable boy gently, trying my best to channel my inner retail worker.

"You can tell him that the Green Beast of Konoha, Gai Maito, is searching for him."

"I'll be sure to pass along the message." I flashed a pleasant smile at him, hoping that with the new information Gai would quieten down and just focus on his current task, without disrupting others.

"And what is the name of the precious flower that I am entrusting such a task?"

"I'm Sayuri Akiyama. It's been a pleasure Maito-san." _Now please be quiet and get on with your job._

"Sweet Lily, you are truly a flower of Konohagakure. Please, just call me Gai."

"That's very kind Gai-san. I'll be sure to let Kakashi know you're looking for him." _If only so you'll leave me alone and get back to work._

"Thank you, Sweet Lily. Until we meet again!" And in a trail of dust Gai Maito was gone.

It wouldn't be until later Gai realised that he had left before completing the task he had been hired for. Resulting in a loud, public, apology, and the boy running around the Village on his hands three-hundred times.

After this, somewhat exhausting, meeting I decided that what I needed was to find my designated guardian for the day and have them escort me to the onsens. A warm bath would help me unwind and disconnect from this horrendous day.

* * *

Jiraiya had decided to remain in Village for a while after meeting with Kakashi in the library. If what the silver-haired boy said was true, then there was a reincarnated soul roaming around Konoha, with unknown knowledge and unclear priorities. As far as Jiraiya could tell the girl/woman had no other friends or contacts except the Hatake duo, but Jiraiya knew that Sakumo had enough leverage behind him to be a powerful force. So, the Toad Sage wanted to be certain of the girl/woman's mentality before he was comfortable leaving the Village again with her wandering about.

The man had conceded with Kakashi that just blurting out to the girl that he knew what had to be her deepest kept secret, could only end in disaster, so opted for a 'chance' meeting instead. In an ideal world Jiraiya knew that their meeting would be in a scenario where Sayuri would be forced to talk about her situation, but that was highly unlikely and would take more planning than he cared to put forward.

Instead Jiraiya decided to trust his friends' son and just made sure that he was available for whatever scheme Kakashi came up with.

With a little bit of time on his hands Jiraiya decided to appreciate what Konoha had to offer. Specifically, the onsens. Hidden behind a fence with a convenient peep-hole Jiraiya had to stifle his, very manly, giggles. If anyone asked about why he was hanging around the women's side of the onsen he would say that it was for information gathering, what better for people to relax and gossip than the local onsen.

His enjoyment of the feminine form was halted when the presence of a young girl, a child, was brought to his attention. Jiraiya was many things, but a kiddie fiddler was not one of them. He made a move to leave when he couldn't help but pause at the mention of the child's name.

"I'm glad that you wanted to come to the onsen Sayuri-chan. Jirou-dono had been so worried about you, a lot of us have been worried about you. You've been so distant lately." The woman addressed the child who had been looking down at her feet as they entered the open bathing area.

"I'm sorry I worried you Chika-san. I've just been thinking about things. And Okaa-san has been gone a lot again, and Tou-san is busy." The child, Sayuri, Jiraiya noted, replied quietly. She looked tired. Kakashi hadn't said just how drained their conversation had left the poor girl.

Jiraiya winced as he caught a glimpse of Sayuri, she was a tiny little thing. Only a child, Jiraiya couldn't imagine that the consciousness of an adult woman lived in that tiny body. The other thing that Jiraiya noted was how thin she was. At her age her body should still be carrying baby fat, but Jiraiya was sure that if he could catch another glimpse of Sayuri he would be able to count her ribcage. It was disconcerting to see what should have been a perfectly healthy child so ill.

"We were all worried that you didn't come back to the house last night Sayuri-chan. You're lucky that Ichirou-san thought to check the Hatake home before we sent out a search party for you." Chika admonished, Sayuri stiffened at the mention of Ichirou. Jiraiya knew Ichirou, had definitely fought beside him in the last war. Ichirou was a good man, he wouldn't cause his niece any undue harm, and was unlikely to have Sayuri went to Interrogation unless he felt there was a risk of harm for either herself or others. But it did give Jiraiya another person to talk to, to get a better picture to the not-so-young-soul that was relaxing in the bath next to him.

With the realisation that he was still at the baths, inadvertently watching a young girl bathe, Jiraiya got up to leave and go find Ichirou instead when the worst possible thing happened.

Jiraiya tripped.

Into the onsen wall.

Or rather, _through,_ the wall, and into the ladies' bath.

Directly in front of Sayuri and her guarding Chika.

The killer intent aimed at Jiraiya was enough to remind the man that Tsunade wasn't the only woman who could, and would, punch him from one end of Konoha to the other, kunoichi training or no.

* * *

Ichirou Akiyama wasn't impressed by the Toad Sage. Not impressed at all. Having heard through the grapevine that Jiraiya had last been seen at the onsen, specifically the ladies side of the onsen, where he had been beaten black and blue by his fellow clan-member Chika Akiyama. Who was at the onsen with his niece.

So, with a raised eyebrow Ichirou looked down at the tall white-haired man that had essentially crash landed in his backyard. He was even less impressed when said garden crasher started to try to pry into a secret that his niece had yet to admit to anyone other than her closest, and unfortunately only, friend.

Ichirou didn't get to see much of his dear niece, but he liked to believe that they were fairly close. But even he knew that they quite at the level where she would divulge her deepest secrets to him, so the fact that Jiraiya, a literal stranger to the girl, seemed to know something so personal to her, set red flags off in Ichirou's head.

"Come on Ichirou. I know you overheard whatever it was your little niece said. And Kakashi wants to confirm that his little friend isn't crazy. Just help me paint a picture of what your niece is like so that I don't have to worry about her being a spy that only half remembers what she's been told. Or that she actually is crazy and a threat to herself and others."

"I've known Sayuri since the day she was born. She isn't a spy. Or crazy. She's withdrawn. Highly intelligent, and sometimes completely lacking in common sense. She struggles to make friends with the kids her age, and Jirou has stopped introducing her to clan children as she seemed to become more and more distressed with each meeting. Her friendship with Kakashi has less to do with her and more to do with him, he lets her be more mature than her peers and doesn't question it, he lets her be whoever she is without pressure to be more.

"If Sayuri really was reincarnated, then she's been that way from birth. No one in Konoha has ever known a different Sayuri Akiyama. I think she became aware of her situation when she only one or two-years-old. She's been keeping a very large part of herself secret from everyone she knows for the majority of her life here, and that has been wearing on her. I believe she's been keeping a diary, but it won't be written in Japanese. Sayuri struggled to learn to speak for a while, she could repeat simple phrases, but once she learnt Japanese her speaking went from on one extreme to the other in a matter of months."

"So Sayuri is smart, not a spy, introverted, and probably doesn't know how to read yet. She's four. Apparently. Do you believe that she was reincarnated though?" Jiraiya pressed, relaxing slightly now that he was more comfortable with Sayuri being an ally for Konoha.

"I'm not sure how reincarnation works, but I think it's possible. After I told Jirou where Sayuri was, I went back to make sure she was alright. Her story had too much detail for it to be the fabrication of a childish imagination. And she was truly grieving for the loss of what she had before. I just don't think that reincarnation is the full story, there is probably more to the picture that we won't get to see for a while yet. And I suggest that we don't push Sayuri for more than she is willing to give.

"This is my warning to you Jiraiya. I don't care if you are my friend, I will personally hunt you down and beat you into the ground if I find out that you pushed Sayuri into talking to you in any way. Do you understand?" Ichirou growled out, picking Jiraiya up by the front of his haori and holding him at eye level.

Jiraiya gulped as he looked his friend in the eye. Ichirou could see Jiraiya trying to figure out a way around agreeing to Ichirou's demands, so the Akiyama gave the Toad Sannin a slight shake to emphasise his point.

"Fine. Fine!" Jiraiya consented, "I won't harass your niece for information regarding her trip back from the dead. But that won't stop me from looking into it more in a general aspect." And with his agreement Ichirou let go of his long-time friend.

"That's up to you. Do as you want. And if Sayuri comes up to you wanting to talk about it, I won't stop you from asking your questions, just don't seek her out. For all her maturity she is still a child, and very easily overwhelmed." Ichirou warned before heading back into his home, cheekily inviting Jiraiya in for a drink.

The rest of the night was spent theorising about the possibility of reincarnation, and what Sayuri's world must have been like. And then what a world without chakra must have looked like. They then devolved into bickering about who was more likely to survive in a world without chakra, which then turned into who was better at tai-jutsu.

Their arguments ended when they were too inebriated to speak. Jiraiya ended up crashing at Ichirou's house, too drunk to go back to his own home. They remained passed out on the floor until they were disturbed by Mari. The blonde looked down at the two men, who at some point during the night had curled around each other and were sleeping in quite an intimate embrace, causing Mari to laugh, jolting the two men awake.

"Mari?" Ichirou slurred as he wiped sleep from his eyes. Looking confused at his old teammate being in his house, laughing at him for some unknown reason. Unknown until Ichirou felt something move around his waist, drawing him closer to a warm entity. Now wide-awake Ichirou looked in horror at Jiraiya wrapped around him like a blanket. Ichirou looked back at Mari who was shaking with laughter. "You will never speak of this." Ichirou glared, the effect lost on Mari since Ichirou still had sleep encrusted eyes, and a hint of dribble still on his face.

"Oh, trust me. I'll never breathe a work of this." Mari laughed, shocking Jiraiya awake, who reacted by shrieking and throwing Ichirou away from him. "No one would ever hear about this from me." Mari laughed as she left, completely forgetting why she had come by in the first place.

Her laughter could be heard all the way from the main street.


End file.
